Alien Life Form

Downward spirals

2012-01-19T22:46:00.002-05:00

It's amazing how very insidious depression can be. I'm surprised that I can still be surprised by that. I've fought it at varying times and varying degrees, but it never really goes away completely. Starting out with a vague, restless frustration. Trying fruitlessly to find something to soothe, even temporarily, the itch of discontent and irritation. Anger. For me food has been the longest running salve. I revel in good food, take a fully sensuous, Hedonistic thrill in it. I relate to the term "foodgsasm" and my lovers have known a joyful fear if I should find myself ambulatory after a grand meal. Food is my drug of choice; I name it my poison.

Usually this means that I can be easily amused and that I can always find some small pleasure in the day and serves no real problem other than I'll never fit into my high school clothes again. Big whoop. Then there's the days when it's just one fix after another. "Man, I reeeealy want some chocolate." "oooooooh, I could make a cake!". Sugar binge leads to sugar high leads to sugar crash leads to sugar binge... Well, you get the picture. After a while it no longer even feels good while I'm eating because I know that I'm stuck in the cycle, but I'm "mired in the marrow of my (well... ain't that) funny bone" [bonus points to whomever gets that reference], and inertia is truly a bitch.

So sometimes I feel like just wallowing deeper in and just giving in. Just eating as many donuts and cakes and servings of food as I wish and allowing myself to just be fat and frumpy and hide behind the food. But it just feels worse to do so, never better, and I don't want Boo seeing that death spiral. I know I'm going to pass on the lesson of comfort foods, I just hope I can manage to emulate some moderation

Thought of the day - suffering and joy

2012-01-12T23:41:00.003-05:00

No one or thing is intrinsically bad, it's all in what you make of it. I heard someone questioning if one must have suffering in order to have joy, and two things came to my mind.

1. While I don't believe we *need* suffering in order to have joy, the lack of good - or presence of "bad"- can help us appreciate the good when we have it. Like how one doesn't *need* darkness in order to have light, but I sure can appreciate a noon sun after a midnight dark (and vice versa).

2. While certain events may be painful, often if we can find lessons in the event it can be much easier to bear. While losing someone or thing may hurt, it can help you gain empathy for others who have suffered similar losses.

Which brings me back to my first statement. Nothing is intrinsically bad, really, so long as you find growth.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

2012-01-01T23:42:00.002-05:00

Well, been a while, huh?

All in all, it was a great year. We may have ended the year with colds, but we're all healthy besides. The Rem and Siberia turned 10 last week, while Bella hit 14 earlier in the year. Spent lots of time with family and friends, and are thankful for all the wonderful things we have.

So, what could possibly make next year better? Well, not having to move would be the best possible thing we could ask for, so let's hope for that, yeah? But, since that's outside of our control, let's focus on the things we can.

1. Get in shape. I know I personally would love to see myself at an in-shape 150 instead of a squishy 160, and I'm sure Geoff has a few numbers he'd like to see shift too. Plus, we really need to set better exercise habits for Boo to internalize as he gets older in hopes that he doesn't become as truly sedentary as his parents.

2. Really try to follow the FlyLady plan. We've made SO much progress in the past year just doing halfway that I'm quite curious to see what would happen if we actually embraced it enthusiastically.

3. Continue trying to become a better person/wife/mother. The past couple of months at the Buddhist center has already helped so much. I think I may really give it a chance and really try to figure out what it's all about.

4. Make time for creativity. I feel so much more happy and *myself* when I'm working on an artistic endeavour. Surely I can carve out a few minutes a day/few hours a week to work on something, right?

5. Last, but not least, give Boo more focused attention. He's gotten so good at independent play that sometimes we get busy doing something else and leave him to his own devices. And what that's good at some times, he really does want/need us to be closer to him even when he's playing by himself sometimes. And I suppose I should also include the girls in that one too, since they desperately deserve more of our time than we've been giving them since Boo was born.

These should not be lofty goals. We should be able to achieve them, even if not all of them all the time. We will do this. :D

shoulda, oughta, can't, won't, might....

2011-08-28T20:34:00.003-04:00

eFF em all. The past few days have really set me to thinking about the futility and harm that we do to ourselves with all the coulda-shoulda-woulda-oughta-mighta-someday's. I've been feeling (in turns) fine, sh*tty, sad, bitter, guilty, mad, etc... And every time I've felt any of those things it's always seemed as though I should have been it more/less/differently. So fuck it. I will be what I am, when I am. I will do the best I can, when I can, and I will try not to ask more of myself than that.

So, with that in mind, I think these are my guideline will's and will not's:

I will play with my son when I have the energy and inspiration, and I will watch him play independently when not. I will not beat myself up on the days that we spend too much time watching tv snuggled on the couch instead of doing something more 'enriching' - so long as I am giving him attention instead of spending the whole time with my face stuck in a computer I am still giving him something important.

I will keep busy and not dwell on the things that haven't gone the way I wish they would have. I will not wallow and let myself go into a depressive funk spiral.

I will try to be grateful for all the things that I have and appreciate them. I will not wish my life away thinking of the things I want to do.

I will clear all the excess clutter from my mind, house, and life, so that we have more space and time to do the things that fill us with joy. I will try to not let new things into our life that do not bring us happiness.

I will make the effort to do the things that I need to do, when I need to do them, so that I have more time to do the things that I want to do. But, I will not beat myself up for the times that I reverse that order. :D

Today is sad news.

2011-08-26T21:07:00.003-04:00

We were 5 weeks pregnant on Tuesday. Yesterday we started spotting and lost the baby. It's not as hard as I thought it would be so far, but it's still a very emotional process. I know, logically, that everything will be okay, but my heart is still sad. I am eternally thankful for Boo and Geoff, and even if they are as large as this family ever gets I am blessed. At least, if it was going to happen, sooner is infitinely better than later....

The difference (hopefully) between what we think and what we say

2011-08-10T17:12:00.005-04:00

My Dear Son became hysterical today. Inconsolably hysterical. He started out reasonably asking to watch a show and I tried to accommodate him.

B: "Want watch Megamind."
M: "Okay." Can do.
B:"No! Want watch Backyardigans!"
M: "Ooookay." We can still do that.
B:"Ooooo. Spiderman!!!"
M: "How about we watch Backyardigans?"
B: "okay"
M: yay! "Which one do you want to watch? Cops and Robots?"
B: "NO"
M: "Boinga?"
B: "NO. New one!"
M: "Clowns?"
B: "NOOOOOOO!"
M: mental *headdesk* "Then what do you want to watch?"
B: "Cops"
M: "Okay"
B: "NO! Boinga!"
M: "Ooookay. We'll watch the Boinga one."
B: "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
M: *grumble*grumble*grumble*MAKEUPYOURDAMNMIND!!!!!!

(This repeats for several iterations with different show names subbed at times)

M: "Okay. Let's change your diaper and go for a drive!"
B: "NOOOOOOOOOO!" )but he goes upstairs eventually anyhow)
B: "Want watch show!"
M: "Yes dear, I know you want to watch your show, but I think you need to take a rest. Shall we go for a drive or snuggle in bed?"
B: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
M:mental facepalm, deep breath. another deep breath. "Okay, let's go for a drive."
B: "NOOOOOOOO!!!" (seeing a pattern yet?) "Want watch show!!!!" (by this time he's long since into snot running down his face and blowing bubbles when he talks)
M: "I know you want to watch a show, and I know you're upset because I won't let you, but we're tired and we need to take a rest. I know you're mad, and sad, but we have to take a rest before we can watch the show" *OHMYGODJUSTSHUTUPANDCALMDOWN!*
B: *slightly calmer* "Okay. :( Go drive"
M: "Okay, we'll go for a drive"
B: "NOoooooo, go bed!!!!!"
M: "okay" *carries him upstairs and takes him to his room*
B: "NOOOOOOoooo! go drive!!!"
M: "okay" *carries him downstairs*
B: "NOoooooo, go bed!!!!!"
M: "okay" *carries him upstairs and takes him to his room*
B: "NOOOOOOoooo! go drive!!!"
M: "Okay. We're going for a drive. I"m not carrying you up and down the stairs any more."
B: (continues to scream and holler the entire time I'm putting him in the car. Of course the car seat only gives me trouble when he's throwing fits. He's so LOUD I think the neighbors are going to call CPS on me)
M: *Good god child, just shut up and go to sleep. You are hysterically tired, just fugging GO. TO. SLEEP!!!!!!!! SHUTTHEF**KUPANDGOTOF**KINGSLEEP!!!!!* deep breaths.... I'm very proud of myself for not actually saying any of the bad stuff and actually keeping a cool exterior. I think it may have helped that I actually got 3 solid hours of continuous sleep last night. :D

chocolate chip oatmeal cookies

2011-07-30T20:04:00.003-04:00

2Tb soft butter, 6 Tb unrefined coconut oil (if it doesn't smell like coconut don't bother. I used Nutiva brand)
1/2 c white grape juice concentrate
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 c whole wheat flour
1 c oats
3/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp fresh ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt (I used kosher)
1/2 c chocolate chips (I used Ghiradelli)

Preheat oven to 350. Mix fats, juice, egg and vanilla. In separate bowl mix dry ingredients, excluding choc chips. Combine wet and dry ingredients, adding choc chips last. Drop about a tablespoon of the mix onto a cookie sheet and bake for about 10 minutes, or until set. They won't brown like regular cookies, but you can press lightly on the top of one to check if it's set. Makes about 2 dozen cookies.

something I wrote a looooooooooong time ago...

2011-07-28T12:40:00.001-04:00

oh, I remember well the nights we spent together, in each other’s arm’s. nothing but the two of us, entwined in each other, nothing else of importance. laying there beside him, breathing in the smell of him, nothing else mattered. I was him, as he was me. my hand against his chest, hearing his heart beating, feeling the rhythmic th-thump against my skin. I take a deep breath, the warmth, (what can I say to do justice to the warmth of him?) the musky scent. I must get closer to that. slowly bringing in my skin to his, burying my face against him, nuzzling my nose deep within the gentle curves of his neck. ah. I miss those days. the love I felt. the love I will always feel. I look at him. those soft hazel eyes, or were they green, or maybe they are blue? the images swirl. the only consistency is the pain I feel. . . or is it pain? the quiet violence of the pressure building in my chest, the ache starting, accumulating, becoming so great that I feel that surely I must burst for I could not possibly hold it all in. these words abound, but I do not feel as though any of them could possibly give any sort of justice to the truth of the feelings that live in me. how could I possibly explain? you have asked for the impossible. it would be easier by far for me to shift the world on its axis and reverse the rotation than for me to properly explain, in words, what our love was like. far less painful for me to describe how I have ‘lived’ for all these years, alone, isolated, subject, than to describe the times that preceded. all I can say is this: god, how I loved him; god, how I miss him. and I am forever grateful that I had the opportunity to feel as such even though I could not keep it beyond my memories. until you have learned how to love, you have not learned how to live. it is far too precious a gift to forsake for the fear of the pain it might cause. . . it’s pleasure is far greater than the pain of its loss.

long time no update..

2011-07-19T12:43:00.006-04:00

As a friend just reminded me, I haven't updated the blog in a while and am WAY behind on my book updates... about 10 books worth?

Let's see I finished books 2 through 4 of the House of Night Series - Betrayed, Chosen, and Untamed, respectively. While I'm currently planning on finishing the series (thanks to the convincing from the friend who wanted me to read it in the first place) I'm getting a bit frustrated with it. By book four, the apparent big bad finally made their big move while pinning the deed on our 'hero', and will (according to the blurbs for future books) be exonerated and replaced to her current position of power in another four books. That outcome makes no sense with the information we've been given so far, and doesn't make any sense unless the goddess that we currently assume is a benevolent benefactor is, in fact, not... And our "hero"....? I'm finding her to be less sympathetic with each book. We'll see how, or if, my opinion changes as we go through the next few books....

Holes was a much more pleasant read. I had seen the movie a while back, so there was a certain amount of deja vu in the beginning of the book, but that wore out nicely as I got past the first 1/5 of the book. While it won't ever quite be the 'anytime, anywhere' book that it is for my friend who lent it to me, it totally stands up for rereading. Strangely enough, it's my favorite character in the book that would make it less likely for me to reread it. Zero's backstory just breaks my heart and makes me wish he could have had a better life. At least the story implies that his life was much better by the conclusion of the book.

Then there's books 2 through 5 of the Percy Jackson series, The Sea of Monsters, The Titan's Curse, The Battle of the Labyrinth, and The Last Olympian. Love the series. It's a good ride, and I really dig Greek mythology. I've been finding myself thinking of the Greek gods as Riordan portrays them in the books, so I guess it's a good thing that he seems to have done a crapton of research for his books so I don't get my mythology too confused. ;) I was very sad when the series was over, but was then thrilled to find out that he's continuing the world with the Heroes of Olympus series.

Speaking of which, I also finished that series first book The Lost Hero. Like I said - very happy we get to continue in that universe, even though it's getting a bit more complicated with the introduction of the Roman aspects of the Greek gods we've been getting to know if the PJ series. I'm very curious to see where he's heading and how the coexistence of both the Greek and Roman mythologies pan out. heh. 'Pan' out... *ahem* anyhow...

Speaking of reconciling different mythologies, I've also finished The Red Pyramid, the first book in his Kane Chronicles series. Once upon a time ago I was Very into Egyptian mythology and this book would have been a dream. I guess at this time of my life I'm more immersed in Greek than Egyptian culture, as it was a bit disconcerting to shift my brain back into Egypt mode. It's also an interesting note to me that they reference the existence of the Greek gods living on the other side of the river. I'm not sure how that quite reconciles itself. How do you ever keep the world saved when there's umpty different pantheons running around simultaneously? What did the Egyptians think when the world was getting torn up by the Greeks battle when Kronos tried to rise? What do the Greeks think about the Egyptian portal hopping and pyramids suddenly popping up in D.C. when Set is making his grab at power? I'm very curious about these things if anyone actually has a theory.

Finally, is J.R.Ward's An Irresistible Bachelor. Solid story, though after reading the preceding An Unforgettable Lady it seemed a bit like I'd already read it.T'was worth reading, though in general I must say I prefer her Black Dagger Brotherhood series hands down.

And 2 more have been conquered-

2011-06-24T21:40:00.002-04:00

J.R. Ward's Lover Unleashed from her Black Dagger Brotherhood series and Marked the 1st book in the House of Night series by P.C. Cast.

3 down.... many to go

2011-06-14T21:31:00.002-04:00

Thanks to the good people on the YA panel during ConQuest (and especially to my husband for watching Boo while I got to go to said panel) I got quite a list of YA books that I hope to read. Our library,thankfully, has over half of them, so I shall be able to make quite a dent in that list. Last week I read The Lightening Thief one day, Ash the next, and yesterday I read Unwind. So far Lightening Thief is winning as favorite, though I must remember to NEVER watch the movie for a book right after I read the book. Geoff says I take it way too personally when they change things - I claim it only pisses me off when they change things for no apparently good reason! (although, seriously, Uma Thurman? Not the greatest actress. but I suppose none of the adult actors really impressed me with their performances)

Ash was rather good, though I admit of the ways I expected it to end, the way it ended was not it. I suppose I was expecting an ending that was more convoluted, more painful, more "gotcha" based on many other books I've read, but it gave it to you pretty "straight" (pun not originally intended). The more I think about it, the more I can appreciate how the story was delivered. It didn't try to trick you. It didn't try to mislead you. It didn't try to get all cute with literary devices. It just was the story that it was. Which was, btw, an interesting take on the Cinderella story, but with a lesbian twist.

Unwind was, um, yeah. Disturbingly engrossing story. I actually stayed up late to finish the story, but this could have been because I didn't wind the chapter describing an unwind to be the last scene in my head before going to sleep. I needed to have some sort of resolution to the tale. 'Unwinding', for those that haven't heard of the book, is the process by which a person is systematically disassembled for parts. While they're friggen concious! In the future setting of this story, the Pro-Life and Pro-Choice factions have become so completely unfettered from rational thought that when a third party throws them a bat-crap-crazy 'compromise' (abortions are illegal once conception occurs, but between the ages of 13-18 the parent or guardian can choose to have the child 'unwound'....) they actually feel that it's a viable option. Because it's not murder, you see. Even though you're chopping them up for parts, they're not dead, because they've figured out how to attach the consciousness of the person to each part of their body??? F Me if I can figure out how that sounded like a good solution....

*ahem* Anyhow. Now looking forward to devouring the rest of the Percy Jackson books without having to wait on the library since a dear friend of mine lent me her copies! :D *happy dances*

the nature of friendships

2011-06-10T15:50:00.003-04:00

I think about the strangest things when doing housework, or, well, doing anything really. Today while doing the dishes I got to thinking about my friends, old and new, and the differences and strengths of each relationship. It got me to thinking about what it really means when friendships run deep through the years and shared experiences. While I love all of those I call my friends, those that I've known for more years than I want to count will always have a special place in my soul. No matter how long it takes in between when we talk, it doesn't take us long to remember what it felt like the last time. The ones that you can talk to about anything. The ones where the term "nunya" (as in 'none of your business') don't apply. If anyone other than them asks where you buried the bodies, you promptly tell then "nunya". If they asked the same question, you look at them like they lost their damn mind and ask THEM "Don't you remember nothin? You was there!" (my apologies to Mater for stealin his quotes)

Today did not go as planned...

2011-05-08T21:42:00.004-04:00

though I did learn that in a minor emergency I can think somewhat rationally. While we were getting ready to go to Hutchinson this morning to have a mother's day lunch with the family Boo fell and gouged his head on the dresser in our room. We have a set of pet stairs that he uses to climb up into our bed placed between the foot of the bed and our dresser. He had merrily climbed up while his pappa was getting socks, but had a weeeeee bit of trouble when he turned around and tried to go down them face first. (These steps will no longer reside in that particular spot. They will now sit by Geoff's side where if he falls he will fall into the closet - hopefully well padded by a supply of Geoff's shirts.)
My brain did one of those TV zoom shots on the gash and we proceeded to calmly panic and rush him to the emergency room. We felt a bit better once he got over the initial shock and then started running around the ER waiting room like a 2 year old banshee. Waiting, triage, waiting, nurses, waiting some more and an hour later (or so) the doc confirms my suspicion that he did in fact need stitches. More waiting, lady collecting insurance info, waiting, nurses applying topical numbing agent, MORE waiting and then the poor child got turned into a baby burrito for the stitches. I understand why they do that, since it did take both of us to hold him down just for the numbing, but it made the poor child hysterical. :( Screaming, crying - "mamma, stop!!!!!!"- I almost lost it but managed to stay calm for him. Poor thing got 5 stitches and scored 2 stickers from the nurses. Two or so hours after arriving we left the hospital and he talked us into getting him a kids meal from Wendy's to tide over until we got to Gramma's house. Apparently small fries and a chocolate milk makes everything better - at least for a little while. :)
He muchly enjoyed seeing his uncles and his Gramma, Grampa and one of his Great Grammas. He got much love, 2 pieces of ice cream cake and a quickie haircut to keep the hair out of his stitches. His Gramma did a much better job of it than I would have. It will do quite nicely until we can get him in for a full cut to even everything out. :)

My son ate chicken that wasn't presented in nugget form.

2011-04-27T22:31:00.004-04:00

I know this may not seem like it should be groundbreaking news, but, in our house it is. ;) Boo does not generally care for meat unless it's in the form of a chicken nugget. He has occasionally eaten ground turkey heavily camouflaged in a bolognese sauce/soup, but normally just plain refuses it. Not tonight. Tonight, he not only ate his chicken, but demanded more of it. I don't know if it's because of the fact that I cut it up into tiny diced pieces or if it's because of the lemony sauce that was on it (dinner was partly from a box of Whole Grain Chicken Helper in Lemon Herb), but I will be experimenting with these variables again very soon.

And while most of me doesn't care, part of me wonders deep down if being so willing to feed him food from a boxed mix makes me a lazy mother. Doesn't the fact that he not only ate several bites of his chicken, but also some corn, edamame, broccoli, cauliflower, and whole wheat noodles override any badness in the seasoning packages???

Well, two new things...

2011-04-27T10:14:00.002-04:00

Let's start with the second, since it was the most recent thing that happened. Did you all know that a rabbit has a scream that sounds like a cross between a large bird and a small child? We found this out around midnight last night when Siberia drug in a baby rabbit and it got loose in our kitchen... Geoff got to deal with that one, and the dogs were then locked out of the house for the rest of the night. Poor thing didn't survive long after getting back outside. It was already dead 2 minutes later when I realized we needed new water outside if the girls were going to be stuck out there all night. Poor, poor baby bunny. :(
(oh, and speaking of bunnies [well, sorta], my son is currently rolling around on the floor drunkenly euphoric after consuming half a chocolate easter bunny)

And first thing last, I think I am going to (potentially prematurely) declare Boo weaned. He nursed yesterday in a desperate capitulation on my part to try to get him to go back to sleep (I woke him up taking him out of the car too soon after he fell asleep), but that was the first time in four days. WhooHoo! *happy*happy*sad*dance

Somewhere underneath it all

2011-04-22T10:38:00.003-04:00

I apparently still have thoughts that I didn't think I thought. I like to think that I'm fairly open minded about the ways that people express physical affection/intimacy. I love my LGBT friends/family, and fully support the community. I have no conscious problem with homosexuality and in fact find it sad that people can find it so uncomfortable to express even platonic expressions of same-sex affection. All that being said, I find myself shamed to admit that when Boo wanted his Woody doll to give Buzz a kiss (he gives kisses on the mouth), my first thought was "but they're both BOY dolls".... WTF? Where did that thought come from???

Firstly, he's only two and not even thinking of it in anyway other than Buzz and Woody are best friends and when people love each other they give each other hugs and kisses (and his knowing this makes me very happy). However, even if it would have been meant in a romantic fashion, it still wouldn't have been wrong and I never want him to think that it would be. I would rather him never have to go through the pain our world currently puts LGBTs through, but I will love him fiercely and support him no matter who he loves in the future. It bothers me deeply that those regressive sorts of thoughts can still live in my head and that I may inadvertently pass them along to my son.

Anyhow. I fortunately never let the thought get beyond the back of my brain, and even helped him figure out how to surmount the obstacle of Woody having a ginormous noggin impeding his ability to reach Buzz due to his space helmet. :P

It's been a long time....

2011-04-20T14:56:00.002-04:00

Wow. I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted here. It seems that Facebook just became such a quick and easy way to post thoughts and events that the blog just fell into disuse. Probably didn't help that it was much easier to use Facebook on my phone while the blog was best done on the computer, and there was quite a chunk of time that one could NOT use the computer without being attacked by a small child. But now, he's getting older and more entranced by playing on his own than constantly needing his mommy's attention. This change makes me both thrilled and tragically sad all at once.

My son is now two. 2. TWO. I still can't quite believe how quickly he's gotten so grown up. We officially lost count of how many words he uses months ago. His enunciation still needs some work, but he now talks so much I can't quite believe it. He often uses multi-word phrases to get his point across, sometimes even using short sentences. He's getting too big for 2T and is primarily into 3T clothes and wears a size 8 shoe. He helps you change his diaper and will tell you when he needs a change, even though he has no interest in using the potty anymore. He loves Cars, and carried around King, Mater, and McQueen everywhere for quite a while. He now adores Toy Story and his new Buzz Lightyear (which he can say, btw) and Woody are his new Best Friends (especially Buzz). They are the new toys that must go everywhere, even to bed! Better than the cars though. It would get tricksy trying to find where all three of the cars had gotten to through the night, and now all we have to worry about is where Woody's hat wandered to. :D

He's also getting really good about understanding what you want, and even occasionally listening to directions. He's now getting to the point where if you tell him to go to timeout he'll actually walk to the corner and stand there by himself for a short period. Sometimes you have to stand there and make him stay in the corner, but other times he'll actually just stay there if you tell him to, even when he's whining about being there. It actually often kills a lot of the frustration caused by the reason of the timeout when I see him standing there all by himself. :D

And for those who've wondered when the next one will be coming along, we're thinking about trying again later this year. Hypothetically this would mean about a 3 year age difference between Boo and whomever comes next. But first we need to clean the house and finally - six years later - get everything unpacked, organized, and every room in a usable state.

And the bread is good....

2010-03-07T19:45:00.002-05:00

Only tried the first basic recipe, but it was good. Nice moist, chewy interior. yummy, crispy crust. A bit on the bland side for taste, but maybe as the dough ages in the fridge and the flavor gets more "complex" it will be tastier.

All in all, a ridiculously easy way to make homemade bread. No kneading. No punching down. No finickity, persnickity, pain-in-my-ass fiddly nonsense that made me dread making fresh bread. I can't wait to try the other recipes in there. Challah. Brioche. Bagels. Wheat. Even rye and pumpernickel are on the list! Muwhahahahahah!

Our little man is getting all grown up sniff

2010-03-07T13:31:00.002-05:00

Just the other week he was only starting to take a few tentative steps away from things. Now, he's charging, arms up, straight at you. Walking across the room all by himself. It makes a mommy so proud, all the while breaking her heart. :)

Plus, while he's using many words, he's getting very good at communicating what he wants - i.e. he wants his crunchies? well, then, he'll hand/throw the bag at you until you comply and give him some of them. :P

Anyhow. Big plans for the day include trying out the base recipe from the book 'Artisan breads in 5 minutes a day'. Wish me luck. If this works out, I look forward to many, many days of yummy homemade yeast breads. :D

And the beat goes on...

2010-02-23T23:19:00.001-05:00

Goodness. So very many things our boo has done in the past week.

He actually fed himself the other day, with his very own spoon, out of his very own bowl. :D It started out as usual with us feeding him until he got tired of that nonsense. He then insisted on taking his spoon from his papa's hand and then proceeded to direct it right to his mouth. After that he went straight back to the bowl to get himself some more foods. :) Of course, after the first couple of successful spoonfuls to mouth, more and more food found it's way to everywhere but. There was food all over his face, his hands/arms, and the high chair - but precious little into his mouth - and I'm sure he was quite confused as to why he was still so hungry after going through all that food! LOL

On top of that, he's learned that he's quite, quite fond of french fries. *sigh* And, amusingly enough, it was his (fairly health conscious, pediatric nurse) grandmother that gave him his first fry. So now, not only does he ADORE cake (my bad) he's also a fry monster! lol

But, at least he's a very active child to offset all the lovely healthy cake and french fries he's been eating this past week. He actually took 2 1/2 steps today all by himself. He's been cruising like a fiend recently, standing for longer and longer periods of time unassisted, but not very interested in walking without hanging onto something. Well, tonight his papa was able to distract him with the dogs soccer ball while I was working on the computer. He went from hanging onto the ottoman to step, step, step-sit once he got to the ball. :D And then a bit later he actually took another step towards something else. He's just getting more and more negligible in his efforts of locomotion. *sniffle*

Our little man's getting all growed up!

OH! And, most amusing of all, he is such his father's son - the above mentioned ottoman has a glide/rocker mechanism that he's discovered he can tip over if he pushes it far enough which enables him to then study the mechanism to figure out how it works. :D

ZOMG....!

2010-02-14T15:39:00.001-05:00

Boo's feet are almost 5 inches long.... 5 friggen inches... when did that happen? His feet are half the length of mine already, and he's only 10 months old.... O.o

oh, and apparently I had forgotten to post this here the other day.....

Heh. Well, last night we found out what Boo's upper limit was for ice cream - it's apparently the equivalent of two 'big people' spoons of Cold Stone's sweet cream. lol. Once he hit that, he was literally trying to climb the walls. :D He scrambled up his high chair to his pappa, up his pappa to get to the cord for their blinds, back across pappa to grab the high chair. LOL. It was priceless. :D
Man. It's so strange to think that in just a couple of months he's going to be 1.... Just doesn't seem right. *sigh*
Anyhow. We're having the KS party on the 17th of April, and the OK party on the following Saturday the 24th. Why two parties? Because I want the excuse to see as many of my friends as possible! :D
For all of you lovely peeps who've been asking me what he would like only to receive my dumbfounded silence, I think I've finally come up with a better idea. He's been getting more interested in things that he can roll around (cars, trucks, etc), getting better about being able to put items into receptacles (maybe one of those 'put the shape in the corresponding hole' containers?), loves drumming on things or shaking them to make noise (so any non electronic form of noisemaking), and he's also in love with taking things apart (anything that doesn't disassemble into choking hazards:). And, of course, he also LOVES attention, so if you can just show up and make him the center of the universe for a little while he'll be ecstatic. :D
Anyhow. Seems like there was something else I was wanting to say, but I'll be darned if I can remember what it is at the moment.... Apparently, my brain does not like getting up at 7:30 in the friggen morning. :( *pout*
Well, love all of you, and can't wait to see when I can. *HUGS*!!!!!

finally another baby update

2009-12-28T19:53:00.002-05:00

Well, boo's now 8+ months. He's still mainly army crawling, but has also has been going further and further distances on hands and knees. I don't know that he'll ever perfect that locomotion since he's got so much more speed in the army crawl. Plus, he's now pulling up on EVERYTHING and is slowly working on moving from object to object. Also, his two bottom teeth are pretty much completely in and his upper left tooth is currently coming in. The upper right may be on it's way since he's spending quite a lot of time feeling the area with his tongue. It's so cute to see him meandering about with that little tongue just sticking out. :D
anyhow. what else? We'll we've been having some sleeping problems that seem to be related to his eating solid foods. The days that he skipped baby food altogether or just had it at lunch he's slept much better. Not sure why that might be, but, there seems to be a correlation.
On another note. We seem to be getting a lot better about driving at night. At first we thought it was getting him into his new car seat (he got a bit too big for his infant seat so we've got him rear-facing in a new seat that should take us for the next 4-6 years, depending on how quickly he continues to grow) but it turns out that the biggest factor seems to be having his pappa in the backseat with him with me driving. He still doesn't seem to be too fond of driving in the (very) dark, but he does SOOOO much better when I'm not the one sitting back there with him. Best we can figure is that when he can see me, he finds it quite insulting that I'm not holding him.
This has been happening around the house too. He can be perfectly happy with his dad or uncles, but, if he can see me, he often decides that he only wants me to hold him. *sigh* It's lovely that I can comfort him so much, but is the suck when ALL he wants is for me to hold him and walk him around. Get's very tiring. I've been starting to take some 'baby breaks' where I let someone else take him while I stay out of sight, just so I can decompress a bit. Right now being one of those times.
We're at the uncles house and they are all downstairs watching District 9 (which I am quite glad we did NOT go see in theaters....) while I am upstairs carving out the time to write this update. He seems to be doing fairly well without my being in visual range, though he is apparently going back into a bit of needing mommy snuggles.........
Anyhow. Christmas went well. He got quite the haul: Monsters vs Aliens blu-ray, activity table, puzzle blocks (which apparently he is much to gnawy for) and more balls for his dinosaur from mom and dad; ginormous stuffed hippo from an uncle; cloth book from a Skipper; a bouncy rocker horse from his grams and gramps (which he hasn't quite figured out yet, but I'm sure it won't be long before he adores it) and a toy yet to be collected from his Mel. :D
We spent a couple of days with the in-laws and then did a day trip to/from OKC to see my cousins that were in from out of state. Was really great to see them, especially as we hadn't seen them in over 3 years.
Well, must be off for now, but hopefully with this new plan for down time I can get updates done a bit more frequently. Here's hoping, anyhow. ;)

get ready for THE cuteness

2009-11-12T15:52:00.001-05:00

don't say you weren't warned. ;)

And a Book Review of George Foreman's Knockout Entrepenuer

2009-11-02T14:19:00.002-05:00

All in all, I'd say this book was worth the read. Foreman uses anecdotes from his boxing career to allegorically relate his business strategies. He does harp about his grill a lot, and the book does sometimes feel like a bit of an informercial, but it comes across with humor. Sometimes he seems to contradict himself, and I'm not sure how much the creed of 'hard work pays off' meshes with the fact that his biggest break (outside the ring) comes from the timely participation in an endorsement. But, putting that aside, the chapter summaries do provide good food for thought and ideas to motivate. While I can't say I wholeheartedly recommend buying the book, I do think it's worth the time to read.

Lotsa updates. :)

2009-11-02T13:50:00.005-05:00

Well, let's see...k Been a darn long time since I've been on here.
So, what's been going on since then... Boo's now 6+ months and crawling up a storm. Still getting a lot of drag from his belly hitting the ground, but that doesn't seem to be slowing him down much. As is, it's still a race to see who can get to the 'object he shouldn't be getting into and lord knows how he found it all the way over there' first, and, if we both see it at the same time he often beats us to it. He's really good at finding the dogs food. Poor dogs. *sigh* Rem just runs away from him and Sib has taken up the strategy of just licking him in the face repeatedly if he starts messing with her. He does get the strangest look on his face when she starts licking him. :D
He's also getting his two bottom teeth in. They are SHARP! little buggers, that's for sure. 'Tis a bit interesting how babes seem to be made of two textures - marshmallow soft, or razor blade sharp. Well, maybe three. There's also hard as a rock when they head butt you with enough force to make your eyes water.
Anyhow. We had some pictures taken the other week and I'll try to get them posted before long. We have some of the three of us, as well as some super cute ones of him in a couple of different outfits plus Halloween costume. He's a cute lil pumpkin. : D
I was a bit sad that I didn't get to do much in the way of decorating this year, but, we got new furniture, the front porch painted with non-skid paint, and got baby gates up so that he doesn't go tumbling down stairs or through crazy wide banister rails.
Let's see, what else... Oh, watched some new tv shows and movies from netflix. I LOVE Eureka! Most awesome show Ever, once I got past the first episode. We've seen through half of season 3 and I am itchy to see the rest of the show.
Transformers 2 was disappointing. WAY too much emphasis on special effects and such and way too little on the storyline.
Wanted was a HUGE disappointment as well. I wanted to like it, I really did, but I really couldn't. :( Gratuitous violence, ridiculous storyline... Ugh. It felt like it was trying really hard to be an edgy Matrix-esque masterpiece and failed. Hard. On every level. Even naked Angelina Jolie couldn't save it cuz she's too damned skinny these days. Sorry folks. Ain't nothing sexy about a skeleton covered in skin (not that she's quite that bad, but, she used to have some great curves).
Anyhow. Wolverine Origins was much better. Probably not great, but after the previous two movies even Batman and Robin (with the dreadful Uma/Poison Ivy) would have seemed like high art. As hubby dearest pointed out, nekkid Wolverine did help, not to mention other pretty boy with nice abs (can't remember his name).

babies and books and movies - oh my!

2009-09-04T12:14:00.003-04:00

Wow. So much has been going on with short stuff I don't even know where to begin. He'll be 5 months on the 17th and is somewhere around 20 pounds already! He's sitting up like a champ and is even able to balance himself enough to lean over and grab things that he wants that are to the side of him. He can't quite sit up from a lying down position, but if he's at all inclined it's hard to keep him down if he wants to sit up. Definitely adds a whole new level of challenge to getting him in his car seat. :) He's showing much more interest in what others are eating - even managed to suck part of a graham cracker out of my hands - and though he's still strictly nursing he's figured out how to drink water from a cup. He finds it much simpler to do if there's a straw involved, but, he'll get it either way! ;) There should soon be a ton of pictures being put online soon. I'll let ya'll know when we do. :D

I've finally been able to start reading more these past few days. Re-read the first three Sue Grafton books in her Kinsey Milhone series (A is for Alibi, etc...) before a friend lent me the Sookie Stackhouse books. Wow. What to say about the first one.... I must agree with my friend that the show (True Blood) definitely takes the best parts of the books and leaves behind the rest... It's not often that I'll say that a show/movie was better than the book, but this is one of those times. While the book comes across as a weird genre collision of trashy romance/vampire/murder mystery, the writers on the show make it feel a bit more cohesive. They change a lot of little things, but nothing that doesn't make sense. In fact, it almost makes more sense.
I started thinking about the book last night and wondered if I was being unfairly harsh in my assessment of it because I was forewarned about how bad the writing was. I had to conclude that I was, indeed, NOT being overly prejudicial. In fact, had I not been determined to see how the books differed from the show may not have made it through the first chapter. The book reads like a first draft (or worse yet, self indulgent, wish fulfilling fanfic). Unneccessarily long sentences and odd punctuation to accommodate the rambling (yes, I know it seems like the pot and the kettle, but, folks, I'm not a published writer. I'm a rambler.:) (And I know it may seem a bit hypocritical to complain about her rambling style considering how much I loved Stephanie Meyers books, but at least Meyer has a point in all her rambling - she's descriptive, painting out scenes so that the book truly plays like a movie in my head. Harris just... jabbers). She throws out dramatic statements that leave you wondering what will happen next and then doesn't do anything with them. She repeats herself over and over and over, battering you with some irrelevant phrase that she somehow feels is crucial for you to hear - over and over. I don't hate the book, and do plan on reading all of them at this moment, but really only because I got dreadfully attached to a couple of the characters via the show (I <3 the actor that plays Sam:)
So, bottom line for Dead Until Dark? Decent story if you can get past the mediocre writing and the occasional soft-core pornographic prose (I had hoped that HBO had exaggerated that because, well, it's an HBO show, but, alas, if anything they may have tamed down the sex a touch O.o). I don't think of myself as a prude, and have read my fair share (or more) of trashy romance novels, but the graphicness with which she describes things seems just plain unnecessary. I expect scp prose in a trn, but it just made me a bit uncomfortable in it's presentation here...

And, to finally respond to SG's question about what I thought of the Twilight movie. I rather liked it, if one completely blocks out the weird special effects they used to make Edward 'shiny' (he just looked strangely oily - yuck!). I felt it had a very similar feel to the book, and though it changed/left out a few things, it captured the book (IMHO) much better than any of the Harry Potter movies. Of course, Twilight had a lot less story to leave out than HP did. While HP consisted of long books packed to bursting and crazy dense with plots and subplots in the story, Twilight was light and breezy with a fairly simply story line that was quite easy to follow.
While I was writing that I was thinking that it was rather like comparing a chewy trail mix granola bar with a sponge cake, or even double fudge brownies with tiramasu - both are really good, but one is just a little denser, richer and more substantial while the other is fluffy and soft and doesn't weigh you down over much. Mmmmnnn... tiramasu and double fudge brownnies.... Wait... what was I talking about??

Oh, right. Twilight. *Ahem* The movie captured the feel of the book and looked almost exactly like I had it pictured in my head. It did leave out some things (I find Bella's aversion to blood to be deliciously ironic) and didn't quite represent some things quite right (Bella's a HUGE klutz in the book - how on earth did she scamper up that tree with Edward without killing someone???), but overall I think managed to get all the details I thought were important.
The casting was adequate, and I especially liked the casting for Charlie, Alice and Jacob. Carlisle was pretty descent, and I didn't really have much in mind for Esme. Jasper looked about right, but they didn't really give him much in the movie. He mainly just looked uncomfortable and stiff the entire film. Emmet was fine, though Rosalie wasn't quite what I expected. Pattinson's Edward isn't quite how I had it pictured, but, I don't know who else could have done it (maybe DiCaprio when he was younger, if he could bring the same 'oomph' to screen as he had in What's Eating Gilbert Grape [loved that movie]). And Bella looked pretty much like I had her pictured, though there was something slightly off in the portrayal that I can't quite put my finger on... Maybe a little stiff? I dunno.
But, overall, I'd have to say it was one of the better book-to-movie adaptations that I'm familiar with.

Goodbye Kitty...

2009-08-11T12:25:00.001-04:00

She didn't make it. She got worse over the night and we had to put her to sleep this morning.

Celestia

Celestia

2009-08-10T19:37:00.001-04:00

Bit of concerning news. Just found out today that Celestia is in kidney failure. She's in the vets office for the next few days to try to rehydrate her and see if they can turn it around. So, good thoughts and prayers from everyone is appreciated. Will keep updates as we find out how she's doing

baby update

2009-07-21T14:22:00.002-04:00

Well, what all have I missed since the last time I left a proper update?

Let's see... Kiddo has since moved from our bed to his own co-sleeper. Well, most nights at least. It was storming really bad last night so he got to stay in bed with us then. And he usually ends up taking a bit of a nap with me from around when pappa leaves for work until he comes home for lunch as I often fall asleep during that feeding. But, overall, he's taking rather well to sleeping away from us. He's even been taking his afternoon naps in his very own crib! I do loves me our video monitor. It gives me endless peace of mind to be able to see him when he's in another room, especially since -
He's also started rolling over from his back to his tummy! He's been working on that for a while, and has been able to roll onto his side for a bit but couldn't quite make it any further because of the bulk of the cloth diapers. Well, this morning he made it all the way over! Had his left arm mightily stuck underneath him, but he was well and truly on his tummy, face down on his playmat.
What else...
Well, as the video I posted recently shows, he's got a great laugh he can now pull out at a moments notice.
He's getting closer and closer to being able to sit up on his own. He barely needs much support from us these days when he's sitting in our laps.
He's spending more and more time in his lil exersaucer and does seem to love watching the spring in the support leg move when he bounces it a bit.
He's also liking the game of us helping him pull up to standing by holding his hands. He's quite wobbly when he stands, but he does love it so.
Anyhow. Think that's about it. Post more when it happens, or it think of it. :D

videos

2009-07-19T01:36:00.000-04:00

Finally got some video up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0YHKMDaQ10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cgv7Nj3xeQ

yesterday was awesome. ;)

2009-07-05T13:37:00.003-04:00

Well, other than the fact I had continuing tummy trouble from the other day.

Siberia's doing much better. She's moving more and more easily on her back leg, and the wound seems to have ceased seeping and is drying out. There's a bit of tape left on her haunch from the last time hubs bandaged her up, but, I suppose that's not the end of the world. She's being more and more finicky about what she eats as she's been finding her pain pills quite well. *sigh* Fortunately, it's getting far enough away from the surgery that i think we can probably stop trying to give those to her. I'm sure she's tired of us trying to shove them down her throat and I'm tired of nearly getting my finger bitten off trying to do so.

Short stuff was excessively cute yesterday in his little 4th of July outfit that MJ got him. Dude is such a chunk we're not entirely sure how much longer he'll fit into it. As was we had to put him back in a disposable diaper to wear the pants because the cloth was too bulky and even that was a close fit. O.o We had the entire family over (minus sister and nephew) and kiddo had a great time going from uncle to uncle and grams to gramps. And to top all that off, he even started the day off with a new accomplishment - he finally got to nom on his big toe!

He's been reaching for it for a while, but never had any success bringing toe to mouth so he decided to bring mouth to toe. :D Pops had him sitting on his belly and he started in with the extreme forward lean towards his toes. He was having a bit of struggle with that since his bum was sinking down quite a lot, so I assisted with a hand under hit butt to level him out. Once he was finally on a level field he quickly managed to get his face all the way to his toes, but didn't quite get the mouth open on the first try. Second time around he got the mouth open before it hit the toe and managed to jab himself in the roof of his mouth with his big toe. :D After that he nommed quite happily on his toe for a few minutes until he got bored with it (or decided that his belly was just taking up too much space to be comfortable leaning that far forward for that long ;).

Anyhow. Life is good. :D

Yesterday was..... interesting...

2009-07-02T09:40:00.003-04:00

First, short stuff topples off the couch on my watch while I'm fixing the dogs food, then when his poppa has him, he winds up thwacking his head on the edge of the laptop. *sigh* I'm pretty sure he was about to call his lawyer to see about dumping us and finding new parents, especially since I had ended up having to waterboard him twice and bulb his nose. :(

So, that made for a very stressful day on its own.

Add to that the fact that we picked up Siberia from her surgery (had a denervation on right hip to kill the nerves to that hip and a FHO to the left hip which removed the ball part of her hip joint) yesterday and it just gets even better. She went most of yesterday without really trying to lick her stitches off, but as soon as we leave her unattended last night to try to go to bed, she starts licking her bandages off. *sigh* So, off I go at midnight to pick up an Elizabethan collar for her (those lovely 'cones of shame', or in her case 'cone of mass destruction' - we had to carry her upstairs to sleep in our room because she tried to take out the living room by falling into everything after we put it on her). Of course, by about 4 am she's trying to bump into every surface of the bedroom so we take it off thinking she needs to go potty... Nope, she just wanted to be closer to her sister.

So, now the collar's off and I'm trying to catch a few moments sleep here and there in between listening for Sib licking at her hip and trying to make sure that baby's okay too. While I opted to not wake him up every two hours as suggested by the peds office (it was a bear enough of a time getting him to sleep last night - he was fairly unhappy with us unless we walked around while holding him) i was still checking on him periodically to make sure he seemed okay.

But, anyhow. Needless to say, I'm pretty much a sleep deprived zombie at the moment. I'm desperately hoping that one of our brothers comes over today for a bit to help watch short stuff (and incidentally Sib) so that maybe I can catch a couple more minutes of sleep. I can't even tell you how much sleep I managed to get. It was just way too fragmented....

So. Very. Tired.

Trying to keep in mind though that while yesterday/this morning could have gone a bit smoother, it could also have gone a lot worse. When I was at the emergency vets office picking up the E collar for Sib a lady was in having to put down her cat after it had been hit by a car. :( *sniffles* Was just too sad. :(

baby update

2009-06-26T13:19:00.001-04:00

Well, we got better and then snuffly all over again. Apparently anytime we have a family gathering he gets the snuffles for a few days. *sigh* Oh well. At least this time he seems in overall better spirits than last time.

Been meaning to get new pictures up to show how big he's getting, but the computer I normally store my pictures on seems to have crashed. And since it's a mac I have no idea how to recover them... Working on that problem.

BUT, even sans pictures I can tell you he's a SUPERCHUNK! At his 2 month appointment he was up to 14.4 lbs (and I'm sure is even heavier now. his thighs are so solid now the folds are quite permanent:)) and 24 inches long. That's 90th and 86th percentile respectively. Big jump from when he was born - he was solid middle of the road 50th % then. As everyone seems to point out - ain't no missed feedings at our house!

He's also getting much stronger. He can hold his head quite steady when he wants to, does brief mini-pushups when we have him on his belly, and can briefly 'stand' nearly on his own by just hanging on to our fingers with his arms stretched in front of him. And his new favorite pass time is to have us hold him over our heads on the couch so he can play with his shadow on the wall. He LOVES to just coo and laugh and have quite lengthy conversations with his shadow.

Anyhow. He'll be 10 weeks old tomorrow, and we've just been loving every moment we've had being his parents so far. He just keeps getting cuter!!! Even when he starts sticking out that lower lip and crying to tell us that the world is simply about to end.

Glargh....

2009-06-12T15:35:00.003-04:00

Ugh.

So. Tired.

Baby got (we think) his first virus and seems to be getting over it well. Mommy (apparently) got hit with said virus and thinks that baby is an utter and complete angel if this is how he's been feeling and he's only been as cranky as he is. :( I'm thoroughly exhausted (slept about 14 hours off and on so far since last night) have a headache and am glad that any food is settling on my tummy after it cleared itself out last night. Hubs stayed here to work from home to take care of baby while I slept. Until an hour ago, all I did was roll over to feed short stuff whenever he was brought to me.

Poor baby. Hopefully this has about run its course and will be over soon.

OH. And he was 13lb 5oz on Thursday when we took him to the doc. He's got his 2 month checkup on Monday and get his first shots. :( We'll let you know (eventually;) how it goes.

baby update

2009-05-19T22:22:00.002-04:00

Well, so far the lil bugger is growing like a weed. He's already blown past 10lbs (which is over a 3lb gain from his lowest weight) and has outgrown most of his newborn size clothing (what of it that actually fit properly in the first place!;)
He's gained a lot of neck and leg strength and can hold his head moderately steady o his own and can support most of his weight on his legs.
He also finally found his thumb today! He's been mainly sucking on his entire hand or fist, but today he actually had his entire thumb in there. Of course, he promptly gagged himself and decided that wasn't such a great idea, but, he had it. ;) He also finds it most odd and amusing when you swish water around in your mouth, AND can help move his arm to pet a kitty. :D He's getting so growed up! *sniffs*

Baby has indeed arrived!

2009-05-03T16:39:00.002-04:00

born at 8:31 am, Friday, April 17th. 7lbs 10oz. 20 and 1/4 inches long. 4 hours of labor (or 6 weeks if you count the weeks of contrations;) and 20 minutes of pushing.

All things considered, couldn't have asked for a better experience or a more perfect baby. He's just too amazing for words. :D

He's even sweeter than he looks. Main problem is he often is more awake than mommy during the nights so daddy has had to do a lot of night duty. Thank goodness for his pappa. I loves me my hubby. :D

Blargh.

2009-04-14T14:40:00.002-04:00

I'm beginning to think there is no baby - The baby is a lie.... (gads I'm such a dork by association. and now I just got the Portal song stuck in my head *sigh*)
We got to the hospital last night and they promptly kicked us back out. (We were having contractions 10-12 minutes apart for over 5 hours and nothing that had made the others stop were making them go away). Apparently we're still only at a 3. I feel like they're always looking at you like you're stupid when they explain for the umpteenth time that it's "when the contraction are coming 2-3 minutes apart and you can't walk or talk through them." "come back when you can't talk through them". By this point they better hope I can't talk through them next time I get there.... My doc said on Friday to go back in if contractions started since the cervix had been changing, so, I did.
But, you know what the most frustrating thing is? They stopped again. We got home at 4am, exhausted, went to sleep, woke up in fair near-constant pain with contractions coming 4 minutes apart - and then... They've just stopped. Again.
So I guess what I'm *REALLY* wondering now is this - Why. The. Frack. Do. They. Keep. STOPPING??????

dr update

2009-04-10T12:10:00.002-04:00

Today we are at 3 cm, with commentary that effacement was very thin and that he had dropped further. Confirms my frustration at the hospital dr (oh, btw, went into hospital again wed cuz we thought water might have broken) who was claiming 2cm, -3 station and 60% effaced. I could deal with the dilation not changing, and station being subjective, but, I had no idea how he was getting 60% fricken effacement when the last two numbers I had gotten there was 80% and then 90% the next week. I was pretty sure that stuff didn't go backwards. *grumble*
So, anyhow. She stripped the membranes and we're hoping that puts a little kickstart to labor. I'm not sure what exactly it means for a stripping to have gone really well, but she seemed to think that maybe my body had already started trying to get ready. Maybe this means we're looking at a baby this weekend, maybe it doesn't. I've been achy with some mild contractions since she did that, but, then again, that could just be because somebody just shoved their fingers through my cervix and swiped at stuff. :P
More updates will follow once we have any more to update.

Of babies and puppies

2009-04-08T12:26:00.003-04:00

First of all, still no baby. 19+ hours of contractions yesterday that never went longer than 26 minutes apart with stretches of them being 5 and 10 minutes. All that on 4 hours of sleep and needless to say, I was not very pleasant by the end of yesterday. :( They never got strong enough to go to the hospital, but neither did they space out far enough, long enough, to ignore them for long. I so totally understand why people throw tantrums and just scream and break stuff. And I totally don't understand how hubs is putting up with me - even I'm tired of hearing me bitch about how frustrating this has gotten. *sigh* He just listens and massages my achy parts when I need him to. I do loves my hubby.

The best thing (well, it sucks, but at least now we're on track to help her) about yesterday is that since Geoff stayed home we were able to get errands done and take Sib to the vet. Unfortunately, it turns out she's got really bad hips - arthritis, displaysia, etc. :( The vet showed us her x-ray and then one of what healthy hips are supposed to look like... The two only sorta resembled each other. The ball of the joint barely fits into the socket, and there's bony growth distorting where there's supposed to be dips in the bone. Poor girl. :(
Apparently the best option would be hip replacement, but that runs close to 6K per hip! There's no way we could reasonably afford that. We'd likely be paying that off until she died, if not longer. The next best option is a denervation surgery, while about 600 a hip, is much easier to afford. We were hoping to keep our tax refund in savings, but, her long term happiness is more important than that. The denervation wouldn't stop the deterioration of her hips, but at least then she wouldn't be able to feel it. So, while over the years she'll lose more and more mobility at least overall life quality should be better from lack of pain.
So, for now, she's on pain meds for that and both she and her sister are on a glucosamine/condroitin supplement from now on. Plus, we're changing up their feeding schedule so we can make sure that one of them *cough*Rem*cough* doesn't stay overweight. Sib's always stayed fairly lean, but Rem's usually got just a touch of pudge to her. Vet says that she's probably only about 4 lbs to heavy (which, ain't too bad on a 70lb dog, I think), but that we should keep an eye on it to make sure that she doesn't carry too much weight and aggravate her hips.
Anyhow. Wish I had happier news to report, but, no baby yet and a puppy in pain. Though I suppose I should try to look on the brighter side and think that at least otherwise we're all overall healthy, baby will arrive, and at least we have an option to help Sib out that won't completely wipe us out financially. Everything will be okay. Rough spots are just there to help us appreciate what we really do have.

Music and such

2009-04-04T22:46:00.004-04:00

A Cat Named Rover - Marc Gunn & the Dubliners' Tabby Cats
reckoning - Ani DiFranco
The Trouble With Andre - Shakespear's Sister
Back to a Reason (Part II) - Trans Siberian Orchestra
Divine - Blondie
Dig up the Conjo - Blondie
What a Wonderful World - Roy Clark
Liars - Psychefunkapus
Educated Guess - Ani DiFranco
Everything I Need - Melissa Ferrick

--------

ook. Goodness. Did too much walking around yesterday. Took the girls for a walk around the neighborhood and then later walked around Walmart for an hour. Contractions are definitely activity related, but, didn't really gain anything other than sore feet and an achy back. Oh well.
Man. Still have a hard time believing that his due date is just two weeks from Monday. O.o

music and complaints (I sure am whiney these days, huh?)

2009-04-02T14:35:00.005-04:00

straight forward - Dulcinea
Lake of Fire - Nirvana
You Can Sleep While I Drive - Melissa Etheridge
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy - Sarah McLachlan
Purple Rain - Prince
Freakshow - Ani DiFranco
I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan
Could've Gone Made - Poe
Pink Cashmere - Prince
Believe - Cher

________

Blargh. So. Restless.

Knee's tender where Celestia tried to flay the skin from it when she launched off of me last night. *sigh* Nothing else seriously hurts, thankfully, but still can't seem to just be content. Blah. Want the baby out soon. I'm really feeling so ready to have him in my arms rather than belly. Or, as Geoff put it, have him lying on my chest not my spine. :P Took a decent walk around the neighborhood last night with little problems. Had more tightening contractions, but nothing of major note. Just have to keep reminding myself at this point that every contraction is serving a purpose, even if it isn't a "real" contraction yet. C'mon progress...

Gah.

Top it all off, my tummy's a bit upset. I feel hungry, but the stomach feels grumpy. *sigh*

update on dr checks

2009-03-31T17:21:00.002-04:00

Well, SSDD, for the most part. We had an episode of false labor on Sunday night and ended up taking another trip to the hospital. Went in around 1:30am and was home in bed by 6am after having contractions since 10:30pm. Went to sleep having uncomfortable contractions and woke up with them almost completely gone. *sigh* Even walking around Target for an hour didn't get them going again. When they had us walk around in the hospital the contractions were at about every 2 minutes and hard to walk through, while walking around the store just led to some tightening and sore feet. :(

But, for an update on just plain status - we're now at just around 2cm, 90% effaced, and he just keeps dropping lower and lower.

I admit to just wondering when it's actually going to hit. We've gained a cm and 10% from last week, lost the mucus plug over a week ago, gut's been purging and appetite's decreasing over the last couple of days. I've taken inventory of the pantry and freezer, reorganized our shoes... I think I've hit some variation of every story of pre-labor I've ever heard. On top of all that I'm the whiniest and most emotional I think I've ever been in my entire life. *sigh* While I'm thrilled to discover I apparently have one of the best husbands in the world (I'm amazed he's putting up with me as well as he has) I'm betting he's going to be glad for baby to get here for more reasons than finally getting to meet his son. ;)

Anyhow. Blah. Blargh. Ugh. *Blech*

music and such...

2009-03-29T13:56:00.005-04:00

Shrug - Ani DiFranco
Friday I'm In Love - The Cure
Downtown - Tegan and Sara
What How When Where (Why Who) - Ani DiFranco
One More Sad Song - All-American Rejects
This Bouquet - Ani DiFranco
I Like It That Way - Melissa Ferrick
Love Song - Melissa Ferrick
God's Country - Ani DiFranco
You - Melissa Ferrick

__________

Well, no baby yet. Just figure I need to say that before anything else since that seems to be the biggest thing everyone wants to know when I talk to them. :P It's getting closer and closer, and each day he's feeling more and more cramped in there, so... Hopefully he'll put in his application for non-resident status soon. ;) I mean, it's just a couple of days to 37 weeks... Isn't that about time for baby??? C'moooooon, baby! :D

On other notes. The carpet in most of the library and living room have now shampooed. It's amazing how much better the carpet looks!!! Especially the spot in the living room where the dogs always sleep and the area where the carpet meets the kitchen tile. Dirt and oil from the fur, and mud from the paws had turned those areas distinctly dark, but it was still surprising to see the sludge that was sucked up from those areas. O.o I may have mentioned it before, but I am soooooooo glad that we have the carpet cleaner now. :D Much easier and infinitely more convenient to have it available to shampoo the carpets at any given time when the mood hits. And it's easy enough to use that we can clean the main areas at least once a month once baby starts crawling around after the dogs. ;)

Oh, I actually got ambitious and made pancakes for lunch (hey, like I've ever been enough of a morning person to do all the work for pancakes before 11 ;). Broke out the new electric griddle we got a few months ago for just such purposes and took it for a test run. So far I'm really liking it. Temperature stays more consistent than the pan I'd been using on the stove and gives me twice as much surface area so's I can cook em up twice as fast. :D Of course, not fast enough to prevent me from snacking on a few as the others were cooking. Eating while cooking is really bad for portion control. :( Made up quite a few and ended up eating more than half of them. Oh well. Eating for two and all, right? I can still use that excuse for a little while longer. :P

Speaking of food, I've got about a weeks worth of dinners made and frozen in the form of soups for after baby gets here. I'm happy that I've even got that much done, but, I really should get on the ball more for that. There's only so much cooking I'm sure that we'll be able to do once baby gets here, and only so much fast food one can afford to eat (both financially and health wise *blech*). At least once the baby gets here I can start eating lunchmeats again. I would never have believed that I'd miss having a plain ole ham sammich so much. *sigh* I think that's going to be one of the first things I have once I can - a huge, cold ham sammich piled tall. Gah.

Must. Stop. Thinking. About. Food....

music and annoyances...

2009-03-25T15:21:00.004-04:00

Sentimental Journey - Esquivel
Love Ridden - Fiona Apple
Pumping on Steel - Billy Idol
This is who you are - Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Willing to Wait - Melissa Ferrick
Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks
Little Plastic Castle - Ani DiFranco
Locomotive - Guns N' Roses
Who Knew - Eminem
Bad Horse Chorus (Reprise) - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
_______________

Ugh. I'd forgotten how much I hate cold sores. :( Haven't had one in years and suddenly one pops up in midst of the puffing hands/feet, chapped lips and dry skin. Fortunately, so far, it's one of the more minor ones I've ever had, but, still a bit annoying. At least my lip hasn't swollen up to half the size of my face. Thank goodness for the little things, eh? :P

Oh, but on a better note...

2009-03-23T23:04:00.003-04:00

The nursery is almost done. The Proud Pappa has busted his butt this entire past week, bit at a time every day, getting the wall sanded, polyurethaned, paint touched up, carpet vacuumed and steam cleaned, furniture moved back into place, and getting the swing and diaper genie assembled. The room looks really quite nice even though we still have a few things in there that don't belong there. Melissa and I went shopping at a couple of consignment stores around the area and we now have a decent selection of clothes washed and put up in his dresser ready for his arrival. We're technically "ready" for his arrival now, as long as that criteria involves having enough diapers, wipes, etc. for his first couple of days home...

Music and Meh...

2009-03-23T22:49:00.004-04:00

First the Music:

Shy - Ani DiFranco
Rain Check - Ani DiFranco
Origin of Love - Hedwig and the Angry Inch
My name is Luca - Susan Vega
Subdivision - Ani DiFranco
Let Me Go - Melissa Ferrick
Complicated - Avril Lavigne
Everything I Need - Melissa Ferrick
Used to You - Ani DiFranco
Coming Up - Ani DiFranco

And, feel free to stop before the Meh...

I just feel... Meh. :( I am so ready to have this baby, but simultaneously have never been less ready for anything in my entire life...
I want my body back for my own use. I want to not have to pee every few minutes. I want getting up out of a chair or off the couch to be less than a 15 step process. I want getting out of bed to not be a herculean task. I want to ache in less than 30-50% of my body at any given moment. I want to not have to worry that if anything happens to me the baby automatically gets harmed as well. I want. I want. I want. Blech. And I feel so selfish because I feel as though he deserves so much more than a mommy with so much abivlalence about his birth.... *sigh*

music and mucus

2009-03-20T15:43:00.004-04:00

First off, shuffle list of the day:

Pumpkin Time - Natalia Zukerman
Your Next Bold Move - Ani DiFranco
Drips - Eminem
Letting the Telephone Ring - Ani DiFranco
This Is Not Your House - Natalia Zukerman
Bagatelle(Beethoven) - Northstar Orchestra
Frog Named Freddie - Melissa Ferrick
Wild - Poe
What You Feel (Reprise) - Buffy soundtrack
Work Your Way Out - Ani DiFranco

On to other news, I think we may have lost/started to lose the mucus plug. I don't know if it's guaranteed that labor starts within 2 weeks of that occurring, but, most of what I've read seems to indicate that, so... Basically still in a "who the heck knows what's going to happen, but, here's what's going on" mode. :)

today's shuffle

2009-03-19T10:26:00.003-04:00

The Dream Lost On Me - Blondie
If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
Whatall Is Nice - Ani DiFranco
I Hear Noises - Tegan and Sara
L.A. Woman - Bill Idol
You're Next Bold Move - Ani DiFranco
Not A Pretty Girl - Ani DiFranco
A Spade - Ani DiFranco
Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are - Meatloaf
Know Now Then - Ani DiFranco

ipod shuffle list

2009-03-18T13:59:00.003-04:00

top 10 songs on my shuffle playlist

What How When Where Why (Why Who) - Ani DiFranco
Kim - Eminem
Napoleon - Ani DiFranco
Sullivan Street - Counting Crows
Shrug - Ani DiFranco
Back Around - Ani DiFranco
Not Tonight - Tegan and Sara
Cat's Chasing Butterflies - Marc Gunn & the Dubliners' Tabby Cats
Suzie Blue - Ben Harper
Science Fiction/Double Feature - Richard O'Brien (RHPS)

wheee!

2009-03-17T23:19:00.003-04:00

sorry, getting a bit post happy. :D

I am just pleased as punch with the way the past few days have gone. Geoff did some more sanding on the wall (so very close to finishing!) and then he cleaned the stairs going to and the upstairs hallway. Apparently the suction capability of the hand tool isn't as good (big surprise, huh?), but still got a fair amount of crud out. Looks like we should definitely have the wall done by this weekend. :D Then we get to clean all the dust off of everything, polyurethane (sp???) the wall and touch up the paint on the other walls, and then clean the carpets before we can move everything back to their intended positions. Closer and closer!! :D

dr's and carpet cleaners

2009-03-17T11:31:00.003-04:00

Well, Geoff finally gave in and we now have a new steam vac (Hoover Spin Scrub Dual V). (side note, apparently since KMart and Sears are practically the same company, we were able to procure the the item, plus a 2 year service agreement with the same folks that our other stuff from Sears has, for $45 less than if we had gone to Sears... weird, no?)
We gave the thing a test run on part of the living room last night and I must say I'm very happy so far. The moderately grungy spots that we hit look fantastic and there was decent improvement in the worst area (in it's defense, it pulled a lot of sludge out of the carpet and we didn't pre-treat the really bad spot like they recommended). It's really pretty easy to maneuver even though it's got a pretty decent heft to it and it left the carpets remarkably dry, especially considering how much water was cycled.
He wasn't too thrilled with putting down the money to purchase one, but, if it lives up to it's good reviews it'll pay for itself by this time next year.
I'm personally giddy at the convenience and maneuverability of it. Every bit of carpet in this house is in Desperate! need of cleaning (not to mention the couches) and now we don't have to be stressed out about the time crunch of having to clean like mad past the point of exhaustion to get all the carpets done before we have to return a rental without paying to keep it so many days we may as well just buy it. *gasps for breath* dang. that were a lot of words I just jammed into that sentence thar....
Anyhow. He drug his feet on buying it but I'm just tickled to death that we now not only have a vacuum (that not only works, but allows me to breathe when it's in use), but also a steam vac that will pull the rest of the crud out of the carpet and keep it clean enough for baby to crawl all over without me worrying about years of shoe and dog traffic. :D Yay! and *sigh* how pathetic is it that I get so excited about cleaning carpets??? :P
Anyhow (again). Latest update from the dr - feel free to stop reading at this point if you have no desire to hear about things like effacement and station ;). Baby's heart rate was about 154, and I'm currently at 1cm, 80% effaced, and he's at -2 station. On Friday the docs at the hospital determined 1cm, 40% effacement and -3 station, but some of these are rather subjective determinations so not sure how much change actually happened between then and now. It does look as though he's starting to drop, but, I have no idea where that puts us on a timetable to delivery.
Anywho. Suppose that's it for now. Let's see how long I can keep up this whole updating thing. ;)

long overdue update

2009-03-16T11:31:00.003-04:00

Well, I have surely been the suck at updating for quite a while... Let's see what's all happened since my birthday...

Well, we've had all three showers now and also did some additional shopping on our own this weekend. So far we've gotten the car seat, some great books, absolutely BEAUTIFUL handmade blankets, clothing, toys, bottles, diapers/wipes, pad for the changing table, plenty of sheets, baby gate, high chair, bibs, etc from the showers. We got the mattress, swing, diaper genie, receiving blankets and a slew of other miscellaneous baby care and maintenance things this weekend (got the furniture a while back from Melissa :). This really only leaves us still needing to obtain the play yard, wipe warmer, stroller, additional car base, baby monitor, the crib tent (keep the cats off teh baby) and more clothing and bibs and such.

But, we now have everything we absolutely *need* to get through the first couple of days after the baby gets home and that sets my mind at much ease. I mean, sure, it would be nice to have the house completely clean and organized and pristinely ready for baby to come home to, but, whatever. We are now at least prepared with the very bare basics and will be able to care for him adequately once he's born.

We're still working on getting the house in better shape. Geoff's halfway done sanding down the crazy rough wood wall in the nursery and we should be able to get that done and clear coated (and possibly stained in addition, haven't completely decided on that one yet) within the next week or two tops. :D Once that's done we can move all the furniture back to it's assigned places and start finishing up the room. Can't wait to get everything washed, folded, put away and finally see the crib made and the room decorated and finished. :D I think it's so cute that Geoff is so very excited to see the crib made up.

The other things that have happened recently were a practice run to the hospital on Friday, and a vet visit for Sib today. MySpace and Facebook readers have already heard about most of this, but for those who haven't, here's what happened. I got woken up about 3am-ish on Friday morning with rather uncomfortable achy contractions. Didn't think too much about them at first since that had happened before, but they just kept happening. Geoff started keeping track and we noticed that they were happening about 3-7 minutes apart. We finally decided that maybe we should go to the hospital and got there just about 5am. They did a few tests and everything came back good, so the assumption was made that I might just be dehydrated so they stuck an iv in me and dripped 2L of fluid. I find myself questioning whether it was really dehydration (since I'd been rather good the previous couple of days to get at least 5-8 cups of water/liquids) so much as just an electrolyte imbalance (I'd been nipping pedialyte the past couple of weeks to ease up the leg cramps I'd been having and hadn't had quite as much the couple of days preceding). Considering it was a saline solution it's entirely possible that just got me back on kilter. Anyhow. Since then I have been trying very hard to get at least 8 cups of water (made much easier by the awesome water mug with volume measurements on teh side that they give you at the hospital) in addition to other fluids and the contractions have stayed down closer to one or so an hour instead of 10-12. :D
But, I must admit I'm getting more and more ready to just have him here so we can snuggle him and watch him make those sleepy yawning faces I love so much on babies. Especially since we do now have all the basic stuff we need for him, I'm much less anxious about not being ready, and am now more excited about getting him here healthy. :D

Oh, and as far as Sib. It looks like she may have a bit of a problem with incontinence. We've noticed her leaking urine a few times and got her into the vet this morning. They couldn't find anything obviously wrong with her to explain it, so, we're assuming incontinence and have her on meds to tone up her bladder. Here's hoping it helps.

Bacon Cupcakes

2009-03-16T11:27:00.004-04:00

Haven't tried this recipe yet, but I think I just may have to very soon. :)

Maple Bacon Cupcakes
Makes 6 / 350F oven

What You'll Need...
4 1/2 tablespoons of butter, roomtemperature
1/2 tablespoon of bacon drippings (left in the fridge to become solid)
1 egg
5 tablespoons of brown sugar
4 tablespoons maple syrup
1 1/4 cup of self rising flour
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
tiny tiny pinch of kosher salt
1/4 cup of milk
1/4 cup of minced bacon, cooked and drained

What You'll Do...
1) Cook some bacon in a fry pan (about 6 thick strips). Reserve the drippings and place in the fridge to solidify. Mince 1/4 a cup of the bacon. The chef should eat whatever is left to assure that the bacon is tasty.

2) Beat the crud out of the butter and solidified bacon fat 'till light and creamy. Add the brown sugar and maple syrup and beat well until combined.

3) Add the egg and beat until incorporated.

4) Sift the flour, salt, baking soda and powder together.

5) Add some of the flour and mix, then some of the milk, then continue to alternate the dry and wet ingredients, ending with the dry. Mix until just combined. Fold in the bacon. Taste and add more maple syrup, flour, or milk if needed for desired taste. Keep in mind the maple frosting is very sweet, and to add in very small increments for alterations as maple syrup in large amounts can break a cake batter.

6) Scoop into cupcake papers and bake at 350 F for 18-22 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Be sure to rotate the pan after the first 15 minutes for even baking.

Maple Syrup Frosting
What You'll Need...
4 tablespoons of butter
2 tablespoons of maple syrup
1 cup of powdered sugar
turbinado sugar (optional, but recommended)
coarse grain sea salt(optional, but recommended)

What You'll Do...
Combine the syrup and butter until combined. Add the sugar, a bit at a time, and whip at high speeds until combined. Pipe or spread onto cupcakes. Sprinkle on sea salt and turbinado sugar for decoration and a lot of added flavor.

Happy Birthday to me!!!

2009-01-19T15:47:00.002-05:00

Well, so far I must say I'm having a GREAT day. :D Geoff came home early to get the 3D ultrasound done today and brought me the prettiest arrangement of petite lil baby sized flowers! :D Unfoturnately we couldn't get a good shot of his face (he decided he was quite comfortable with his face buried in the placenta - thank you very much!) but we get a redo on Fri so hopefully he'll cooperate a bit more then. :) After that, we went to Scotch and Sirloin and had a rediculously huge lunch - french onion soup, salad, two cups of hot chocolate, lunch prime rib with baked potato and roll slathered in butter... YUMMY!!! So, I is *very* happy. Might even use some movie passes later tonight and take advantage of Coldstone's free birthday ice cream!
Heh. Between today and Saturday, I might end up getting another 'look' from Dr. about my weight gain next appointment too! Apparently, according to their scale, I gained 10 lbs from one visit to the next. I'm thinking I must have been wearing heavier clothes or something... Either which way, our scale only had me up to 176 this morning, so, I won't worry about it too much. Though I probably will try to take it easy after this week on the food (until the showers that is - one must eat lots of cake at one's own baby shower, right? At least two pieces, if my calculations are correct, since it's a party for both me and baby I must make sure we each get a piece of cake, right? Right??)

Anyhow. Time for baby pictures!

(I love how it looks like a lil skull and crossbones in that one)

'nother baby update

2008-12-05T12:56:00.003-05:00

Anyhow. Baby update for those who are interested. He's been much more active lately and moving strongly enough that not only has Geoff finally been able to feel the movements himself, but, we can actually see my belly jump around with some of the stronger movements. And with that, my baby-induced lobotomy is complete! I can no longer remember how miserable I felt that first trimester or why I threatened such bodily harm to Geoff for "doing that to me". Apparently all it takes is those little flutters and watching your belly move around to make you completely forget anything less than perfect that isn't happening right at that moment. I'm sure that once I regain the ability to breathe (which is currently the only thing bothering me atm) I'll forget how much hacking and wheezing sucks too.

Oh, and on that topic - dang is it expensive to stay healthy... :( Went to the doc about my breathing and ended up with 3 new scrips. 1 long term steroid inhalor and antibiotics and other steroid type stuff to try to get rid of a touch of crap thta she thought was triggering a bit of the trouble... But, yeah... Just over $200 for those 3 scrips... Granted insurance will reimburse us for most of that eventually, but, damn... Drains the checking for now and really makes me wonder how folks without insurance do it... Actually, I remember back when I didn't have insurance and did just have to suffer through a lot more. Some docs would be helpful and try to give samples when they could, but... Breathing was a lot less simple back then... And, just how sad is it that one can live in a country like the US and not be able to afford care to just friggin breathe?

Anyhow. Enough about that rant. OH. Almost forgot - we gots us a new vacuum cleaner. Not a good time to spend the money, but, it was getting to the point that I could barely be in the house when Geoff was running our old vacuum, much less be able to do any of it myself. It would pick up dirt and hair okay enough, but would kick out so much dust my lungs would start to close up pretty much instantly. :( The new one feels a bit heavy to me, and I can only vacuum for a short while before the body starts to complain, but at least I can now. :D How sad is it to be excited about being able to vacuum? ;)

But, it is a really neat vacuum. It's got a dirt sensor that not only tells you when the bags full, but it also tells you the level of dirt that it's pulling out of the carpet. 'Twas rather sad the first time we ran it - just a couple of days after using the old one - took at least 20 passes over some areas before the dirt sensor stopped grousing. And, I wouldn't have thought it, but the carpet actualy felt different under your feet afterwards. Fluffier or something, but, distinctly different. Anyhow, I loves it. And, doesn't hurt that we were able to get it, a replacement filter, 10 bags, and the 2 year service agreement for the price it was listed for originally. Not for sure if it was a black friday savings, or just a desperate economy, but, saved us $100, so, that was goodness.

Suppose there is one other thing to update on. We're having a new roof put on in the spring. There was a lot of hail damage in our neighborhood this past June, added on to the fact that our roof is just getting old. One of our neighbors convinced me that I should get in touch with the ins company, and I'm glad we did. Adjustor guy said that there's enough damage to have totaled the roof anyhow, but since it is as old as it is, even one hit would have done so since they don't make replacments for what's up there anymore. So, they're covering replacing the roof, guttering, and the flashing around the fireplace (which is apparently in abhorent condition and we're lucky it hasn't been leaking badly) and we should be looking at only having to pay our deductible. Which is still a decent chunk of change when we've got a ton of baby stuff to pay for even if we do get a good haul from friends and family at showers, but, it needs to be done. And insurance would only cover it if we claimed it before next June anyhow, so... Just gotta do what ya gotta do. :D

Anyhow. Looks like spring is going to be busy. New baby, new roof... *sigh*

And sono says...

2008-11-20T18:33:00.000-05:00

...it's a boy.

small baby update

2008-11-07T14:39:00.002-05:00

Well, not too much to report today. Saw the doc and everything seems to being going fine. Baby's heart rate's at 154, and we should get the next ultrasound scheduled in a couple of weeks. Also, finally off restrictions (yay, we can finally have sex again - tho 'tis a bit weird now with the baby in there) and can start working some exercise back in. Will try to get more belly pictures up on a regular basis so you can all see me blimp up. ;) Doc did actually confirm that I am a bit poofier than average for this point, but, didn't seem to concerned about it. Suppose I'll just have to try eating a bit healthier from now on instead of fast food all the time. :D

belly picture

2008-10-28T15:46:00.003-05:00

Well, enough folks have been hassling me about it, so, here goes. Took this today and it marks 15 weeks into the preggercy.

Good news is, I've been feeling a lot better. Been getting some energy back, though still on restrictions. :( Next dr apt in a couple of weeks though, so, hopefully that'll change soon. Should also be able to get the next sono done shortly afterwards. Updates when they arrive.:)

Ugh.

2008-10-10T18:30:00.001-04:00

Just... Ugh... I just *Love* being pregnant. (only a little sarcasm in there) Don't get me wrong, I'm in this for the haul and DON'T want the pregnancy to fail, but, man am I already ready for it to be over... I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of crying at least once a week. I'm tired of getting headaches pretty much every day. I'm tired of rarely sleeping more than 2-3 hours at a time because I can't stay comfortable and constantly have to pee. I'm tired of feeling like throwing up every time I brush my teeth, or cry and my sinuses back up and start draining. I'm tired of feeling crappy most of the time, and goddammit - I miss sex!!!

At least, I think I do, it's been so sporadic I'm not sure I properly remember it anymore. :( On top of not even feeling like it the past couple of weeks, I'm now officially on pelvic rest for a while because of the spotting we've been having. No sex, no lifting, just gotta take it easy. You'd think the taking it easy part would be nicer, but, I hate not being able to run errands without exhausting myself. It's frustrating to not be able to do regular housework because I get dizzy, or crampy, or just plain worn out after a few minutes...

Garrrrhgh. Grrr... argh... !#(%*@!!! just... that. :(

Oh, and the constantly being hungry when very little food sounds good? Also sucks! At least I found out I can still have California rolls. *sigh*

new baby picture

2008-10-02T14:44:00.002-04:00

Well, there's one more ultrasound picture we can add in here. We had a little bit of bleeding during the last 24 hours so they wanted us to come in and just make sure baby was okay - and he/she sure does seem to be! : ) Baby's now around 12 weeks along, 5.08cm/2in long, and heart rate of 162. While the picture's kinda hard to see, babe is definitely looking more and more human. Oh, and getting to see him/her move around was just soooooo surreal... *tears up* dang hormones!

*sigh* The one really frustrating thing is that I'm now pretty much on bedrest for the next couple of days to make sure baby stays good. Not that I want anything to happen to the baby, but, there's just SO much stuff that needs to be done before Saturday. Family's going to be over to help paint a couple of rooms, and haven't even picked up the extra rollers and paint that we need. *sigh* Oh well. Poor Geoff's gonna be exhausted by end of weekend now that he's point man for all this stuff I was supposed to help with. :(

blech

2008-09-29T22:55:00.003-04:00

grumpy. unhappy. emotional, most likely hormonal. nothing makes me happy, everything makes me cry, crying makes my head hurt and my sinuses back up, which makes me cough and feel like I'm going to throw up. :( dammit. tired, but restless. tired of being in this house, but don't know where else to go. want the house to be cleaner, but don't have the energy/motivation to clean... argh!!! I really can't wait for this to be over. *cries*

'nother baby update

2008-09-12T15:54:00.003-04:00

Well, we had our first visit with our new OB today. So far she seems very personable and seems to have a good sense of humor. She was good at answering all of our questions and didn't seem at all annoyed that I had a page full of them to ask her. :P

So far all signs seem to point to us having a healthy, normal, low-risk pregnancy - YAY!!! And, looks like we'll be delivering at a Via Christi location (can't remember the name of the hospital).

Hrm... Seems like I had more to say than just that, but... For the life of me I can't remember what it was. My brain seems to be shutting down now.

Well, more updates as things progress. :D

And, SQUEEE!!!!!

2008-09-10T17:16:00.003-04:00

So anyhow, the big *secret* that we've been waiting to share with everyone - *ahem* WE'RE PREGNANT!!! :D

We're about 6ish weeks from conception, about 1.3 cm long, heart rate of about 170 and due date of April 21st. :D

Yay!

2008-09-09T11:23:00.004-04:00

Looks like we've got a buyer for the pool table. Lady emailed me this morning about picking it up tonight. :D She seemed very positive when she called to confirm my address, and there was another guy who emailed right after her about it, so, hopefully, one way or another, we will no longer have a pool table in the house by the end of the week. I'm almost kinda sad about it, because even though we never really get to play it, it is a really nice pool table. :( Oh well, we'll have $150 we didn't have before, plus two rooms with open floor space when we're done! :D Squee!

So, anyhow...

2008-09-01T23:25:00.004-04:00

if anyone is looking for a pool table, let us know. We need to get rid of ours, and are asking $200 obo, buyer responsible for delivery. We don't use it as much as we'd need to justify using up an entire room for it. :(

heh.

2008-08-28T21:44:00.002-04:00

Well, indeed I suppose if I would like there to be less cobwebs around here, mayhap I should sweep them away from time to time myself. ;) Though, to be fair, I had been here a few times in succession with no one else around. :P

And, in my defense, I hath not been feeling quite well in the recently. Fatigue just started to let up, but then my stomach has taken a turn for the worse... I'm unfortunately spending about a third of my day feeling a bit nauseated - not badly enough to puke, just badly enough to make it hard to get around and do much. *blah*

Anyhow. Hopefully energy will return soon. I'm already starting to look forward to getting to Contra this year, specially since it's looking like we won't be able to make it Conquest or Scarby next year. :(

Well,

2008-08-20T12:38:00.001-04:00

there's big news potentially on the horizon. Tho, doesn't seem as tho many people stop through here anyhow... *looks around at all the dust and cobwebs while crickets chirp in the background*

Anyhow

2008-07-29T02:00:00.003-04:00

Final Friday went really well. There was a bit of a hiccup a couple of days before the event, but, it got smoothed out and all went with nary a hitch. Melissa, Johnny and Skip made it up from OKC; Nancy, Esther and Ben from school made it; most of the family (minus the youngest brother) made it; folk from Geoff's work made it; a couple I met at the Pride festival made it; Lin and co. made it just before we had to shut down for the night; and my cousins came up from OK on Saturday. It was great to see everyone over the weekend, and I really couldn't have asked for Friday night to go much better than it did. We all hung out, played a few games of pool, had some drinks, had some snacks... 'Twas the awesomeness. :D

Oh, finally saw WALL-E and Dark Knight. Both were really great, though I'm not sure I could ever watch WALL-E again - it maded me cry. :( A bunch. *sniffles* Maybe I was just overly emotional that night, but... anyhow... Dark Knight I do want to own as soon as it comes out, if only to hear some of the dialogue that I missed when we saw it tonight. *sigh*

just a thing...

2008-07-29T00:15:00.002-04:00

Your Birthdate: January 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested.

You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them.

Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others.

You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself.

Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence

Your weakness: Suspicion of others

Your power color: Eggplant

Your power symbol: Spade

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Mine arts...

2008-07-16T23:59:00.003-04:00

Well, got an initial presence on MySpace for now. It needs some work, undoubtedly, but at least it's a place where folks can go to some pictures. http://www.myspace.com/xenophim

In case anyone hadn't yet heard, I have my first *real* show coming up on Friday, July 25th here in Wichita. :D Not a huge show, but at least now I can have something else to put on my artistic resume. ;) If nothing else, it should be a good bit of fun, even if rather nerve-wracking. It's an exquisite sort of misery, putting yourself and your work out there and hoping someone, anyone, likes it enough to actually pay you money for it. lol. Here's hoping that at least a couple of people find something work buying, eh? If not during the Final Friday show, then hopefully after.

And, like I said, still working on getting a better web presence up, but, that's moderately back-burner until I get done with the show. Though if anyone has any handy tips to improve how I'm presenting myself, I'm more than willing to take advice. :D I'm planning to eventually have a website separate from MySpace and even have the ability to order things online. Shock, huh? ;)

Anyhow. Wish me luck with all this, please.

Oh, and have been doing the paperwork/phone calling/form filling to actually get legal as a business, and it's just the weirdest feeling. I don't know how to describe it, but, it just feels kinda weird to think that I am now a 'registered retailer'. Huh. Me. I am now (technically) running a small business. O.o Whodathunkit?

Interesting....

2008-07-12T13:41:00.002-04:00

http://www.caffeineweb.com/?p=15

excerpt from article:

"Nearly 80% of the world's population uses caffeine, and 25% of the population is diagnosed with a mental disorder. Clinical studies indicate that there may be significant overlap between those figures, and that many people diagnosed as mentally ill are in fact merely suffering from caffeine poisoning. Caffeine also exacerbates the symptoms of patients suffering from organic, non-caffeine-induced mental illness."

Just a post

2008-06-29T23:27:00.004-04:00

to try to keep up with it and not let it lapse for months at a time as I am wont to do...

Anyhow. Went to the Wichita Pride parade and festival today. Very tired now, but did have quite a bit of fun. :D Sold buttons at the beginning, beer at the end, and met very nice people through it all. And, apparently, got quite a lot of sun. Slathered on 45 spf before leaving the house and still managed to get an apparently wicked set of tan lines. Will know for sure in the morn how much is sticking around and how much was just today, but, dang... Don't want to think about how crispy I would have gotten if I hadn't worn any.

Well, I shall be off, having completed my mission of posting. I am quite worn out, and rather beginning to notice how very many times I've already used the word "quite" in this post. ;)

Well,

2008-06-24T23:28:00.003-04:00

phone is finally working. Nearly a WEEK after I got the blessed thing, it's finally able to receive calls. Though it doesn't seem to like to get reception in the lower levels of our house. :( And I'm having trouble getting the automatic speed dial associations to change... I suppose now that it's working I should actually take the time to read the instruction booklet and see what all the phone can do.:D

Anyhow. Needs to get to working on cranking out some inventory for me art stuffs. I should likely have some more news on that front to share with ya'll later by Monday. Wish me luck for the next month. :D

Oh, and I am nearly blown away by the fact that TOMORROW is mine and Geoff's 3 year wedding annivesary!!! Can ya believe it? Well, I mean, Of Course I can believe it, but, still. Wow... 3. Years. Married. That's over 4 years that we've been together, and I'm still not even close to ready to get rid of him. ;) It may seem silly, but, I am still just blown away that I managed to find someone who fits so well with me and that there could very likely be that 'happily ever after' I never could quite believe in before. *glows* Yay for me! Yay for us! Yay for, well, everyone!!! :D

Today,

2008-06-24T00:40:00.006-04:00

was a good day. Finally got part of the shopping trip done with Ben that had been planned for a couple of weeks ago done. Ordered a small kiln and random supplies, and bought a bunch of glass, soldering iron, glass grinder and other misc. supplies to get running with my glass stuff. Still need to get texturing hammers and the like to do more of the metalworking, and a more 'spensive kiln to do ceramic stuff with. But, got a good running start today. And, more importantly, had a great time hanging out with Ben, and getting to know the folks at Rodger's shop a bit more.

Oh, also don't think I mentioned the garage sale marathon embarked upon this past Saturday. Had a great time gsing with Star and got a crapton of stuff for about $55 as well as a fair amount of exercise. Ate a lot of rich food (which led to the confirmatin of the aforemention lactose thing - I can't explain how much I love Star for figuring this out) and watched season 1 of Torchwood. Much better show than what I expected, even if the characters do suffer from a shitload of stupid. lol. Besides, OMG was the Captain Jacks scene HOT! I will most certainly have to rewatch that scene at another point in time - thems boys is purty. *fans self*

Oh, and Lawrence is the awesome. Also managed to get some new nose 'rings' and the COEXIST bumper sticker I'd been looking for. :D And they have some really nice shops down Mass street. *sigh* Also picked up some ginger jam and golden syrup, not that this is crucial info for anyone by any means. :P

Oh, AND, m'damn phone STILL isn't receiving phone calls.................

So, anyhow...

2008-06-23T11:35:00.002-04:00

phone is STILL not working fully. Cannot begin to express how NOT happy I am with Sprint/Nextell.
*Called tech support Fri morn, was troubleshot and told to call back later to get the trouble ticket #(1st WTF moment).
*Called tech support around 4 on Fri, was trouble shot and told that the problem would be resolved within 24 hours, but if I felt I needed to call back to wait another couple after the 24 had elapsed.
*26 hours later (almost exactly, which is when I was told to call back) THIER TECH SUPPORT IS CLOSED FOR THE DAY. W. T. F. SO pissed by this point.
*24 hours later, Geoff calls them back (by this point I would not be able to converse with them rationally) and talks to a manager. We are once again assured that within the next 24-48 hours my phone should be working (they had to escalate it to a higher level of tech support - why they waited this long, I do not know), but, oh btw, if I wanted to change my number it could be resolved sooner.
NO. No I do NOT want to change my fracking phone number. I have had this number for YEARS. I had this number transferred to Sprint after Alltell dicked around with their network and I (unknowingly) couldn't receive calls the week my mum went AWOL and disappeard a couple of weeks before she died. If they can move my number from an unaffiliated network to theirs within 2 days, what is their major fuggup that they can't transfer it to an affiliated network that they've been linked to for years??? This. Is. Unacceptable.

Anyhow. Can you tell I'm more than a bit annoyed???

Oh, and completely unrelated, apparently I'm lactose intolerant to a degree. O.o Who knew?

Grrr...

2008-06-20T14:11:00.001-04:00

phone again. called customer service re: lack of phone work-age and apparently a tower's down, or something, so, they're not sure how long it's going to take to get my service transferred or some such. I'm to call back at 3 to get a ticket number and see how it's progressing... okiday, then...

oh, well. it's still a freggin cool phone, even if it doesn't quite work yet. :D

Oh, yeah....

2008-06-20T09:20:00.004-04:00

almost forgot with all the phone excitement yesterday - I'm now Officially a College Graduate. :) Finally got my associates in the mail yesterday. It's such a cute, tiny, piece of paper. ;)

dude...

2008-06-20T00:08:00.004-04:00

my new phone is the freaking awesome!!! check it out - http://www.motorola.com/consumer/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=831c81e499d93110VgnVCM1000008206b00aRCRD&show=productHome

had orginally wanted a more rugged phone when I got my last one, but they didn't really have any available at the time that I needed my last one, so, didn't get one. :( now, the 2 year contract passed so I could upgrade and I couldn't find my charger so OBVIOUSLY it was time to upgrade. ;) well, except the universe seems to be inordinately pissed that I did, because it sure hasn't made getting the phone very easy. :(

1st, the store near our house didn't have it in stock, so they'd have to transfer it and it would be here tomorrow (today, that is). never did get a call from them today so, figure, let's just go in. well, they'd been SO busy today (apparently, the new instinct came out today) that they hadn't had time to pick up the phone. they decided to be OH SO helpful and activate everything at that store so alls we had to do was pick it up at the other... suuuuuuuuuure. an hour later, we're finally headed over to the other store. and the phone isn't active... we cycle power on the phone, turn my old phone off- seems to be fixed, right? riiiiiiight... except, see, it can MAKE calls, but can't seem to accept them. :( *sigh* so, back to the Sprint store we shall go tomorrow. *sigh*

anyhow. OTHER than that, it is simply the most awesome phone ev-ar! very rugged, and oh so practical (mil-specs, so it should be able to withstand even ME [stupid constantly dropping the phone :(]). at first I was a bit bummed because it wasn't overly pretty, just functional, but, I was SO wrong. it has the best ringtones and (at least when choosing them) the buttons light up and flash when the tone's playing. apparently, it's also got a really good gps (according to geoff, I know nothing). AND, the belt clip for the damned thing is AMAZING! clips with the face in, so the tough part of the phone is facing out, and has several tension points so the phone actually STAYS in the holster. how novel!

anyhow (again) I suppose that's enough ranting about my new phone for now. at least until it's actually fully functional. :D

anyhow...

2008-06-16T12:50:00.002-04:00

Well, never did get anything done as planned last week. Ah, well, the best laid plans of mice and men, after all... Ben (friend from stained glass) and I ended up hanging shelves in the basement last Thursday instead of shopping, and saw some spectacular clouds from the storms that night. Unfortuantely, a breaker blew and took out half the outlets in the basement and all the power in our den. :( So, Friday was completely blown waiting for an electrician to come out and replace it. If we had known for sure that it was just the breaker and nothing else was wrong, we could have gotten dad to talk Geoff through it and saved me the aggravation of being constantly put off by them.

I tell you, I'm never calling them again if we have electrical trouble. *scowl*. I called them at 10 a.m. and they're all, like, "we can have someone out there within the hour", so, I'm all, like, "great!". 1 p.m. rolls around and I call them back to see what the problem is... Guy's been caught up on another job, but he'll still be out there this afternoon. Okay.... That's fine, but calling me and letting me know would have been, like, you know, awesome!!! *growl* 3:30 rolls around (noticing a pattern yet?) and still no electrician. Well, this time she tells me that he'll call me in about 15 minutes. At least he does, though it's not until 5!!! that he shows up. He does get it fixed before 6, and we did all manage to have a nice dinner at the Japanese Steakhouse by our house, though we didn't go see Indie after all. Geoff was a bit tired so we stayed home and just watched a movie here. So far we've introduced Ben to "Juno" and "Hot Fuzz", and there's a whole slew of movies he's still yet to see.

Other than that, hung out with the parentals and brothers Saturday for an early Father's Day. The men ran off and saw the Hulk movie, and mom and I stayed in and watched "Sabrina" (the Audrey Hepburn version, think I like the remake with Julia Ormond and Harrison Ford better), "Breakfast at Tiffanys" (rather worthy of a watch), and "Enchanted" (which was MUCH cuter than I though it would be). And, Sunday we hacked away at the jungle that's been growing in our backyard for the past 3 years (did I mention we're not great with yardwork? ;). There's poison ivy growing back there, but, fortunately I didn't seem to have any unfortunate run-ins with the plant. Hopefully that luck holds as we contine the work.

Still working on cleaning up the house. With the shelves hung, the basement is rather finally starting to look like a studio space, but there's still a bit of work left to do. Plus, do still need to find some more shelving/storage solutions for matboards, glass, etc... Flat files seemed like a great idea until I saw what they cost. One place was asking for, like, $150 a shelf (or maybe it was for two shelves, either way -dude!). Ben says he knows of some used shevling options, so hopefully that'll work out. I can't wait to get everything set up and start working proper. It's so exciting!

Anyhow. I'll try to update a bit more and not disappear for months at a time. :D

I got to thinking...

2008-04-04T22:17:00.006-04:00

today about marriage and its associations. Why some people should be allowed to marry, while others not. (author's note: this is not an attack on anyone's views, just my own thoughts)

1) Marriage is to protect the family (heterosexual parents and their children) unit. Well, if that's the case then, what about people that aren't able or willing to have children? Should people that don't want children not be allowed to marry? What about the elderly that are past their childbearing years, but have found someone they want to spend their lives with? What about those that have infertility issues? Are they to be deemed inelligible to get married?

2) Marriage is a union between a Man and a Woman, because GOD SAID SO! Well, maybe. Maybe not. If that's the case then marriage is simply a construct of religion, and therefore only the church(es) have the right to define and facilitate "marriage". If that is the case, then our system of governing laws have no business to define what it is, or even deal with it at all. If marriage is simply a religious trapping, then only the church should provide marriage and the government should call thier unions something else. That something else should then be available to all legal citizens of the land the laws govern, regardless of gender or any other restriction placed upon marriage by virtue of dogmatic insistence. Hell, I've even got no problem with polygamous unions or domestic partnerships so long as all parties are aware.

So, I suppose in conclusion, my opinion is thus: Let "marriage" be a religious thing, and the rest of the land's citizens align themselves as they wish.

"I (the undersigned) hereby declare myself bound to (insert names of person(s) here) as legal life partner. It is my intent that this partnership be in effect for the duration of my life, or until such time as (insert names of person(s) here) become deceased. If for any reason any party wishes to dissolve this union before said time... etc."

What a world, what a world....

2008-03-05T12:28:00.003-05:00

"OLYMPIA -- Gay and lesbian couples were brought one step closer to same-sex marriage Tuesday when the Legislature voted to extend 170 new rights to them, adding to groundwork begun last year with the passage of domestic partnership rights.

The Senate passed House Bill 3104, proposed by Rep. Jamie Pedersen, D-Seattle, by 29-20 along a mostly party-line vote.

The bill grants same-sex couples additional rights -- including the ability to share bank accounts, the right to hold common property and immunity from testifying against one's partner in court. Divorce rights -- including child-custody provisions -- were also granted.

The measure now goes to Gov. Chris Gregoire, who is expected to sign it into law.

Republicans decried the bill for whittling away at the institution of marriage, saying the deterioration of marriage between a man and a woman would lead to a rise in crime, juvenile delinquency and parents working long hours.

"This bill practically increases the number of rights to domestic partners ... that's exactly what I'm afraid of. Once we go that far, marriage will become meaningless," said Sen. Dan Swecker, R-Rochester."

Seriously. I mean, c'mon! Seriously??? WTF is wrong with people??? Allowing Gay Marriage is going to deteriorate hetero marriage and cause the downfall of humanity? Really? Because whether someone else is married really affects how much someone else has to work... I can SOOOO see that.

I swear, between people like that, and the idiots actually falling for Clinton's desperate mud-slinging ('well, since I've got no appeal of my own they only way I can get votes is to try to bring my opponent down instead of myself up'), I've got just about no faith left in humankind. Or, at least, in the people living in the U.S. I wonder why I have my doubts about whether or not we should have children - this is PRECISELY WHY! Why in the hell should I want to bring a child into a world full of this many mental deficients (I unfortunately cannot come up with a word that fully encapsulates the depth of my feeling towards these people)? "Idiocracy", anyone?

To jump back to the Clinton thing - again with the "Seriously???" Just because she can't get votes by being a good candidate, she has to resort to fear-mongering to push people away from Obama? And, because of these desperate attacks, Obama is percieved as weak because he's tried to take the higher road and not sink to her level??? WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?

Somedays I hate people...

Quiztastic

2008-02-08T23:46:00.002-05:00

You Belong in 1953

You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Should Be In the Indigo Girls

Your all about expressing yourself through music
Lyrics are your poetry - think Sylvia Plath meets guitar

What Girl Group Should You Be In?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

2008-02-04T23:31:00.000-05:00

Dude. Everybody. Get out and VOTE!

Gobama

2008-01-22T23:14:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm actualy feeling politically minded/motivated. Obama has got to be the VERY first politician I've heard speak that actually got me motivated. Most times I hear politicians all I want is to see them take long walks off short piers, but I have to say I love to hear him speak. He actually makes me want to support him. He's totally, like, Hypnotoad or some shit! lol

Guh. Of course, this could all be because I've been dreadfully sick for the past few days and my brains are addled from all the coughing and snuffling I've been doing. But, regardless, I think I'm finally going to register to vote. 28 years I've avoided it, but, I think I'm finally gonna do it. :P

*blech* *sigh* *urgh* I do hope I eventually get better. I missed my first Tuesday of classes, and may or may not be able to make class tomorrow. *blarg* The nurse said that Iwould get worse before I got better, and that it would take a few days to start feeling better, but.... I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. :P At least the majority of my birthday plans weren't until this coming weekend. :D

Oh, and speaking of birthdays....

2008-01-16T15:48:00.001-05:00

I almost forgot! My pups had their 5th birthday this last December. Wow. I can't believe how the time has just flown by.....

Birthday? What birthday?

2008-01-16T13:29:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am again. Doesn't feel like too much to report.

We spent Christmas and New Year's with Skip and Sugar. We got to OKC on the 21st and Spice passed away on the 22nd. I can't believe how incredibly difficult it was to find someone to engrave an urn. I mean really. Apparently folks are tetchy about urns in the first place, but mainly, it seems, is that nobody wants to engrave on a customer provided object. But, we did finally find a place. Strangely enough, it was the one engraving shop that actually smelled like a workplace. Everywhere else smelled a bit too nice, all fruity and perfumed. This place smelled like etching chemicals. lol.

Looks like I start up school next week. Strange how even though BCC classes are starting rather late, I still feel like time has just zipped away from me. I feel very out of sorts with my timelines. I suppose that has something to do with not getting to play out our plans for cleaning up the basement and doing holiday stuff with Geoff's family. My sense of time is completely messed up.

Like, my birthday is this Saturday and it just doesn't even feel like it. Usually I'm quite excited about it and make all sorts of plans around it, but.... *sigh* I suppose we'll go out for dinner on Saturday, the two of us, and then have dinner with his family next weekend when sister is in town. It should be nice, but... I just can't get excited about it. :( Ah, well... At least I can get free ice cream out of it. :)

Oh, how the money rolls out.

2007-12-04T18:48:00.001-05:00

Well, I finally did it - I finished my graduation application and paid for next semesters tuition. That was probably the most exciting and traumatic check I've ever written. O.o Here's keeping my fingers crossed that next semester will be all the classes I need and I'll be done with school for a while. Strange to think that the check today (well, and then the check to buy next semesters books) could be the last check I write to a school for at least 4 years. Wierd.

Oh, and I finally went back to the doctor yesterday to try to figure out why I've been sick off and on for the past fricken month. I was just beginning to think I was about better when I started crashing again on Sunday afternoon. Didn't get a precise cause-effect diagnosis, but apparently they did find that there are some lingering infections making themselves comfortable in my body, so, here's to another week+ on antibiotics. :P

Finally, an update. :)

2007-11-30T10:40:00.001-05:00

Okay. So, let's see.... What's happened in the past few months worth updating?

Well, if the advisor at Butler is correct, I should be able to get my Associates in Art this coming May after completion of 15 more credit hours. That's rather exciting. I could finally get my 2 year degree only 11 years after graduating high school! :P At least I could finally scratch that box off the list.

We're still planning on trying for the baby thing, tho with bumping up the school schedule, I'm thinking we might try to hold off until after May. One wouldn't think that would be too hard to do considering how tempermental my body's being about getting reregulated, but, as everyone jokes, now that we're wanting to wait that's when it'll probably happen! :P

Not that it would be a horrible thing, just an overly exhausing one. I'm already going to be completely drained with the way classes are scattered. One of the classes meets once a week in El Dorado for a long session ending at 10:30pm. That would mean I'd be getting to sleep no sooner than midnight before having to get up at 7 something to get to a 9am class the next morning. It was bad enough with my jewelry class last semester getting out at 9:30pm. I was always pretty much worthless for the next two days afterwards even without having to get up early the next day. O.o

What next? Oh, yes - I must both thank and curse Lin for introducing me to the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It was my complete obsession for the week I stayed out of school. It's a 3 book series of about 600 pages per book that I read back-to-back. Twice. I really can't explain why I'm so fascinated by these books, but I am. I am very anxiously awaiting the 4th installment of the series. Hopefully it will give one of the characters a slightly better resolution. I really think the poor guy got a really rough deal there. :(

Ooooh - almost forgot! Sold another piece of artwork at Contra this year. :D And, there are also other folks wanting pieces like it. I'm going to do an art trade with a guy we know for one of his pieces. Quite exciting.

Ugh. Well, I suppose I should try to go clean the house up a bit before tomorrow. We've got houseguests staying Saturday night, and folks from my Chem class coming for dinner Saturday. And so. much. cleaning. needs to be done before everyone shows up. I must say the one good thing about being sick the past few weeks is that it's given me a new perspective of how much I actually do around the house. Because even though Geoff did help out a bit while I was sick, the house well and truly became a disaster area while I was out of commission. :(

My Tarot Card

2007-09-01T02:11:00.001-04:00

You Are Strength

You represent both fiery energy and steadfast will.

You are innocent and naive - yet unafraid and undaunted.

Perhaps you don't have the most powerful physical strength...

But your mental powers make up for any amount of muscle.

Your fortune:

Lately, you have been a pillar of ethics and moral strength.

And while things may be difficult, your faith in yourself will come through.

You may need to conquer the animalistic nature of yourself or others, with gentle force.

Although this may seem like the darkest hour for you, victory is near.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Holey rusted metal, Batman!

2007-08-31T15:48:00.000-04:00

Wow. What a blast from the friggen past. Somebody I haven't spoken to in years (especially if I didn't initiate the contact) just tracked me down on MySpace.

What. A. Trip.

It was really good to hear from him. I just hope he can manage a bit more consistency in the friendship than he had previously. *shrug*

Just an update

2007-08-01T12:34:00.001-04:00

Life, it moves forward. I'm signed up for a basic chemistry and a western civ class at Butler, and had a job interview at a little bookstore/cafe today. It's technically the cafe that's hiring there, and they do need folks during the day, so I guess we'll just wait and see how it goes.

On the other hand, it seems as though I may have ovulated this month. Had an apparent temperature spike the past week which seems to be on the downward slope, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see about that too. :D

From Harry Potter to New York and back again!

2007-07-24T15:22:00.001-04:00

Well, figured it was about time to make an update considering we've been back from the trip a few days. :D

New York was awesome! We walked a rediculous amount, for which I can now be thankful since my knees and other assorted body parts have stopped hurting! I must admit, I was getting very worn out from all the walking there, but, now that we're back, I feel so much better. Now when we take the girls out for a walk, Rem is the one getting pooped out before me! Haven't lost a damned bit of weight with the terribly rich food there, but, I'm quite sure at least a small amount of fat has now been replaced by at least some small amount of muscle. My bum is definitely looking much less droopy! ;)

Anyhow, breakdown of events -
Saturday we just bummed around the hotel after our flight and got some of the best salmon I've ever had delivered from a great lil italian place.
Sunday we hung out with Kitt and spent about 6 hours wandering around the Metropolitan Museum of Art before meeting up with Keith and Abby for dinner.
Monday we met up with Richard at Grand Central Station and wandered around the city, including walking past the DC offices and going into the crazy Apple store there, before going to see the La Vie show (which was beyond amazing. folks from Cirque de Soleil broke off and formed a slightly more adult program - there was a penis sighting! O.o)
Tuesday brought us to almost seeing the Empire State Building (we didn't go all the way up to the observation deck, but we did go into the building) and then walking around more with Geoff's friend Chris (who took us to a darling lil pizza place that also served italian ice's. the pizza was just as I remembered it - the best in the [or at least my] world!)
Wednesday we did the audio tour around the Statue of Liberty and on Ellis Island before we went to see the Concert. Anais Mitchell and Melissa Ferrick opened for Ani Difranco. It. Was. AWESOME!!!! There's always so much energy at either a Ferrick or Ani show, it was just amazing to see them both in the same show. *sigh*
Thursday we did a bus tour of some of the NY sites that have been featured in television and movies before we had dinner with Geoff's cousin Allison and her husband Chip. Most of the places the bus took us were amusing, but not really from shows we really watched much. Did get our pictures taken on the steps of the building used for the establishing shots on the Cosby Show. Saw the Friends building, drove through MePa (Meat Packing District), SoHo (South Houston - and that's "house-ton", not "hews-ton", for those who don't know ;P), Chelsea, and a few other places.
Friday we got about 3 hours of sleep before hopping a plane home and then making a midnight-thirty run to get the new Harry Potter (which I did obsessively read straight through before going to sleep - thank god I'm a fast reader! ;).

We saw the latest HP movie before we left for NY and, as usual, I was sorely disappointed. Probably more disappointed than I had ever been with a previous HP movie, but that could have something to do with I had finished the book only half an hour before we left to see the movie. I am realizing that I must never, NEVER! read the books before I see the movies. These are events that must be singularly separate from each other if I am to enjoy the movies. *sigh* I will have to give the movie another chance though before I can pass a final judgement on it though. And, I have to admit I must reread the book as well. It was just such an emotional experience, and I was so drained after reading it, that I'm not completely sure what I thought about it. I can't say much more than that as I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't read it yet.

Anyhow. This is starting to turn into a book as well, so I shall end for now. I'll try to get pictures up from the trip as soon as we get them pulled off the laptop and into somewhere I can fidget with them. :D

I really do actually like this song O.o

2007-06-18T00:18:00.000-04:00

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

The weekend

2007-06-11T13:43:00.001-04:00

I suppose I should go ahead and get this done before I put it off and never do it. ;)

The weekend went rather well. We went up to Topeka to visit friends and family, and for me to be seduced by yet more money-sucking hobbies! lol Karen is working on getting me started scrapbooking and took me shopping for supplies. I think I'm going to try to do one for the dogs. Uncle Bill gave me a quick run through on how to make glass beads and gave me a few items to help build a small work area at our house. Really was a lot of fun and I do look forward to trying to make more. :)

Well, that's about all my brain is capable of saying for right now. We got home about midnight-thirty and I'm not feeling quite human yet. Might take me a few days to make up for the sleep we missed while trying to hang out with folks as long as possible. :)

more quizes

2007-06-11T13:36:00.001-04:00

You Belong in 1959

You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Should Rule Venus

Venus is a mysterious, stormy planet - shrouded in a thick layer of clouds.

You are perfect to rule Venus, because you are quite emotional and volatile yourself.
Your emotions change as rapidly as the weather on Venus, and both you and the planet are incomprehensible to others.

While you are not a logical thinker, you are quite empathetic.
You can care for and understand others, but your emotions swirl too quickly to truly understand yourself.

What Planet Should You Rule?

and, *dies laughing*

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Betty and Veronica

Boobie Name Generator

Aren't quizzes fun?

2007-06-07T13:14:00.001-04:00

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.
People feel like they really don't know the true you...
Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.

Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.
It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.
You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Cartoon Quiz

2007-06-01T16:43:00.001-04:00

Apparently, I've wasted quite a bit of my life in front of the tv. :)

http://mentalfloss.com/quiz/quiz.php?q=66

Playing catchup

2007-05-30T13:18:00.000-04:00

Well, figure it's about time to post something else here.

Let's see... A couple of weeks ago we went down to Dallas area for Scarby and to see the Body Worlds exhibit.

-Scarby was fun, as usual, though I did end up getting a bit overheated. Our friends Lin and Steven went with us and seemed to have a rather good time, so I'm glad for that. They took some pictures while we were there, so maybe I'll be able to get them to send me a couple to show you what my new costume looks like. :)

- Body Worlds was also very interesting, if a bit disturbing to folks like me. It was fascinating, and held a certain beauty, but I just couldn't get past the fact that they were actual plasticized corpses on display. I was rather proud of myself for making it almost 2/3's of the way through before freaking out. Apparently that was a fairly common occurnace, as the folks working the exhibit didn't take long to point out an escape route for me. lol

Conquest was also a blast, though it all went by much too fast. Skip came along with us and also seemed to enjoy himself, though we hope that next year we can find him a room in the hotel so he won't have to drive back and forth to check on his girls. Saturday became a blur before the end of the night, and Sunday left me wondering what happened to the weekend. :) I did participate in the kareaoke (sp??) thing they had and managed to do a decent rendition of "You're so Vain" even though I was in a corset (which I'll gladly blame for any goofs in my performance, regardless of how much of it was actually it's fault. ;) And I'll definitely have to get proper pictures of me in my new corset (Thanks again, Holly!) - it's so pretty! And terribly soft, too. I spent a rather large portion of the night just petting it as I walked around through the room parties. :D

And, as far as the results from my blood work that we had done go, we still don't know any more than what we did before. Apparently all the results came back normal so we still don't know why I'm not working. Though I am dreadfully ready to start my period. Four and a half months is plenty of time without one, thank you very much! Our friend Starr brought up the point that I could be suffering from a lack of other menstruating females to trigger off of, in which case I desperately need to find a large gathering of females STAT! lol

It's also been a time of 3rd installments for movies, as we've recently seen Shrek 3 (late mother's day outing with the family), Spiderman 3, and Pirates of the Carribean 3.
-Shrek was alright, though I was personally a little disappointed in the way the animation looked. I think it might have been cuter had some of the scenes advertised in the commercials actually stayed in the movie instead of being reworked.
-Spidey was actually pretty good, though a tad rushed. I have to say that while it may have been a little villian heavy, I thought it all worked together fairly well. I don't know that you could have just taken out one of the villians without having to completely rework the entire movie.
-And, Pirates was alright. Liked it better than the 2nd installment, though it doesn't have the same sort of quotability as the infamous rum line from the last one. :)

Anyhow. OH! How could I almost forget this! Ferrick is opening for Ani in Brooklyn on July 18th!!!!! I've got no idea if we had plans to do anything that week, but I'm sure if we did they'd understand why we wouldn't make it. :D *bounces*bounces*bounces* I've already bought tickets, so now all we have to do is make the travel plans. :D :D :D

Update on doctor's appointments

2007-05-04T12:12:00.000-04:00

Hrm. It was just pointed out to me that maybe I should post an update on my recent doctor's visits. :D

Physical Health:

Anyhow it's sounding like my parts aren't quite working right. The doc thinks it's quite likely that I probably don't ovulate very often on my own, if at all. We're going to have more blood tests run next week to see if they can figure out anything from that before we start moving on to anything more invasive. We might end up having to do a HSG(think that's what it's called-the nice uncomfortable test where they shoot dye up places that shouldn't be dyed and take x-rays to see if everything's where it should be) and possibly start me on Clomid if I don't start ovulating soon. *sigh*

I find it rather odd that even though one can logically know that everything will be okay, and that there is more to one's worth as a woman and a wife than the ability to bear children (or cook, clean, etc), I still feel rather broken at the moment.

Which, I suppose, is a good enough lead in to the area of

Mental Health:

I'm in process of getting set up with a Pyschiatrist's office here in Wichita. Figure it would probably do me some good to get back in some sort of therapy (haven't been since I moved up here two years ago) just in general, but also might be good to get to know docs up here in case I need to get back on to meds again. So, for now, it looks as though I'll be spending time about an hour a week with Dr. Warren. While things could change, so far it looks like he and I will get along. I think there might be times that we're going to butt heads spectacularly, but I think overall there looks to be promise.

Anyhow. I'll try to keep everyone updated on how things are going. :D

how funny...

2007-05-01T00:29:00.001-04:00

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Cruel Intentions

"I'm the only girl you can't have, and it kills you."

http://www.blogthings.com/whatfamousmoviekissareyouquiz/">What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

Alien Life Form

Downward spirals

Thought of the day - suffering and joy

Happy New Year, Everyone!

shoulda, oughta, can't, won't, might....

Today is sad news.

The difference (hopefully) between what we think and what we say

chocolate chip oatmeal cookies

something I wrote a looooooooooong time ago...

long time no update..

And 2 more have been conquered-

3 down.... many to go

the nature of friendships

Today did not go as planned...

My son ate chicken that wasn't presented in nugget form.

Well, two new things...

Somewhere underneath it all

It's been a long time....

And the bread is good....

Our little man is getting all grown up *sniff*

And the beat goes on...

ZOMG....!

finally another baby update

get ready for THE cuteness

And a Book Review of George Foreman's Knockout Entrepenuer

Lotsa updates. :)

babies and books and movies - oh my!

Goodbye Kitty...

Celestia

baby update

videos

yesterday was awesome. ;)

Yesterday was..... interesting...

baby update

Glargh....

baby update

Baby has indeed arrived!

Blargh.

dr update

Of babies and puppies

Music and such

music and complaints (I sure am whiney these days, huh?)

update on dr checks

music and such...

music and annoyances...

Oh, but on a better note...

Music and Meh...

music and mucus

today's shuffle

ipod shuffle list

wheee!

dr's and carpet cleaners

long overdue update

Bacon Cupcakes

Happy Birthday to me!!!

'nother baby update

And sono says...

small baby update

belly picture

Ugh.

new baby picture

*blech*

'nother baby update

And, SQUEEE!!!!!

Yay!

So, anyhow...

heh.

Well,

Anyhow

just a thing...

Mine arts...

Interesting....

Just a post

Well,

Today,

So, anyhow...

Grrr...

Oh, yeah....

dude...

anyhow...

Our little man is getting all grown up sniff

blech